A
　　Father：Well, Sam, did you get the best marks in your class this term？
　　Sam：No，Daddy. Did you get the best salary（薪水）in your office？
　　B
　　Father：You’ve fought, you bad boy！You’ve lost a front tooth.
　　Son：No，I haven’t. It’s in my pocket.
　　C
　　Son：Why is the sky so high？
　　Father：So the birds don’t bump（碰）their heads.
　　D
　　Jimmy：Mum, the kids at school call me Bighead.
　　Mother：Don’t worry, son, there’s nothing in it.
　　E
　　Husband：Why can’t you make bread like my mother？
　　Wife：I would, if you could make dough（生面团）like your father.
　　F
　　Patient：Doctor, I have a terrible problem. Can you help me out？
　　Doctor：Certainly. Which way did you come in？
　　注：help sb out有两解：①帮助某人；②帮助某人走出去。
　　G
　　Freddy：I can lift an elephant with one hand.
　　Teddy：I bet（打赌）you can’t.
　　Freddy：Find me an elephant with one hand, and I’ll show you.
　　H
　　Teacher：Fred, how can you prove the earth is round？
　　Fred：I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.
　　I
　　Passenger：What use is your timetable？The trains are never on time.
　　Railman：And how would you know they were late if it wasn’t for the timetable？
　　J
　　Jim：Last night I had a double rest.
　　Jack：How do you mean？
　　Jim：I dreamed I was sleeping.
　　K
　　Billy：What did I get for my English test？
　　Teacher：Well, I’ll give you the good news first. You at last spelt your name correctly.
　　L
　　Taxi driver：I can’t stop the car！I’ve lost control（控制）！
　　Passenger：For heaven’s sake（看在老天爷的分上）, turn off the meter（计程表）！
　　M
　　Teacher：Tim, you know you can’t sleep in class.
　　Tim：I know. But if you were just a little quieter（安静）, I could.
　　N
　　Jimmy：Hey, Dad, there’s a big black cat in the dining room.
　　Dad：That’s all right. Black cats are lucky.
　　Jimmy：But this one just ate your dinner.
　　O
　　Policeman：Now tell me, just what could the other driver have done to avoid（避免）this accident？
　　Injured（受伤的）driver：He could have gone down another street.
　　P
　　Lady：Have you ever tasted chicken soup before？
　　Man：No I never met a chicken who could cook.
　　Q
　　Teacher：Arnold, what would you like to do today？
　　Arnold：I’d like to graduate（毕业）today.
　　R
　　Teacher：Andy, what do you mean by crawling（匍匐前进，爬行）into the classroom three minutes late？
　　Andy：Well, you told me never to walk in late again.
　　S
　　Freddy：I can’t come in the water. I’m terrified（惊吓）of it.
　　Sam：Don’t worry. It’s not over your head.
　　Freddy：It will be when I faint（晕倒）.
　　T
　　Teacher：Who can tell me what dinosaurs（恐龙）ate？
　　Student：Judging（判断）by the one in the museum, they didn’t eat anything.
　　U
　　Diner：I can’t eat this stuff（点心、蔬菜）. Call the manager.
　　Waiter：It’s no use. He won’t eat it either.
　　V
　　Diner：Is this peach or apple pie？
　　Waiter：Can’t you tell from the taste？
　　Diner：No, I can’t.
　　Waiter：Well, then, what difference does it make?