向自己所钟情的对象求爱本来是令人愉悦又有几分惶恐的事,当求爱遭到拒绝时,愉悦消失了,只剩下强烈的惶恐和不安。这时候,该怎么办?应当努力控制住自己的情绪,重新调整自己的心理和行为。调整的方向有两个:一个是指向对方的,不要再以同样的方式穷追不舍,但也不要轻易地完全放弃;另一个是指向自我的,要努力解决由此产生的认识不协调状态,以恢复内心平衡。 Pleasing love to one whom one loves is always pleasurable and somewhat frightening. When love is rejected, pleasure disappears, leaving only a strong fear and anxiety. At this time, how to do? Efforts should be made to control their emotions, to re-adjust their own psychology and behavior. There are two directions to be adjusted: one is for each other, do not pursue it in the same way, but do not give it up altogether; the other is for the self, and try hard to solve the resulting uncoordinated state of understanding , To restore inner balance.