论文部分内容阅读
▲肖嘉晖
Everyone has problems. They can be small things and they can also be big deals. But it is not necessary for us to be worried about them. I think the most important thing is to find a good way to solve them. What should we do when we argue with our friends？ I think we need to say sorry to them. We may not be wrong， but it can show that we value the friendship more. We sometimes get problems from parents. Parents always nag us at home. Usually we cannot stand them and then run away. However， have you thought about？ Why parents nag us. They just want us to be better. Why not talk to them. Maybe that will make you have a good relation. Good relation usually depend on good communication.
Though we have too many problems， as long as we try our best， everything will be solved.
黄召平老师点评：
本文是小作者在学习完八年级上第四单元 “Why don’t you talk to your parents？ ”之后的习作。本单元的主题为“谈论烦恼和提出建议” 。
文章就青少年时期经常出现的与同伴和家长之间的矛盾带来的烦恼阐述了自己的观点：不必耽于烦恼，应当主动地想办法解决问题；处理问题时应该多站在对方的角度来考虑。该文条理清晰，观点新颖、鲜明，语法基本正确，词组搭配得当，句式、词汇丰富，是一篇有说服力的说理文。
但限于小作者现有水平，文章还存在一些不足：标题过于笼统，段落划分不明，标点用法有误，关联词的运用也有叠床架屋之嫌。针对这些问题，修改如下：1.开头加上排比句，使之更切题更具文学性；2.调整文中个别不地道的句子和词组。
Everyone，young or old， man or woman， has problems. They could be small things or big deals. But I don’t believe it is necessary for us to worry about them too much. I think it’s more important to find a good way to solve them.
What should we do when we argue with our friends？ I think we need to say sorry to them. Maybe we did nothing wrong， but to be the earlier one to say sorry can show that we value the friendship more.
We sometimes get into problems with our parents when they say something unpleasant at home. Usually we cannot stand them and then run away. However， have you thought about why parents always do so？ They just want us to be better. Why not talk to them？ Maybe that will make us have a better relation. Good relations usually depend on good communication.
We all have many problems. As long as we try our best to communicate， they will be solved one day.
Everyone has problems. They can be small things and they can also be big deals. But it is not necessary for us to be worried about them. I think the most important thing is to find a good way to solve them. What should we do when we argue with our friends？ I think we need to say sorry to them. We may not be wrong， but it can show that we value the friendship more. We sometimes get problems from parents. Parents always nag us at home. Usually we cannot stand them and then run away. However， have you thought about？ Why parents nag us. They just want us to be better. Why not talk to them. Maybe that will make you have a good relation. Good relation usually depend on good communication.
Though we have too many problems， as long as we try our best， everything will be solved.
黄召平老师点评：
本文是小作者在学习完八年级上第四单元 “Why don’t you talk to your parents？ ”之后的习作。本单元的主题为“谈论烦恼和提出建议” 。
文章就青少年时期经常出现的与同伴和家长之间的矛盾带来的烦恼阐述了自己的观点：不必耽于烦恼，应当主动地想办法解决问题；处理问题时应该多站在对方的角度来考虑。该文条理清晰，观点新颖、鲜明，语法基本正确，词组搭配得当，句式、词汇丰富，是一篇有说服力的说理文。
但限于小作者现有水平，文章还存在一些不足：标题过于笼统，段落划分不明，标点用法有误，关联词的运用也有叠床架屋之嫌。针对这些问题，修改如下：1.开头加上排比句，使之更切题更具文学性；2.调整文中个别不地道的句子和词组。
Everyone，young or old， man or woman， has problems. They could be small things or big deals. But I don’t believe it is necessary for us to worry about them too much. I think it’s more important to find a good way to solve them.
What should we do when we argue with our friends？ I think we need to say sorry to them. Maybe we did nothing wrong， but to be the earlier one to say sorry can show that we value the friendship more.
We sometimes get into problems with our parents when they say something unpleasant at home. Usually we cannot stand them and then run away. However， have you thought about why parents always do so？ They just want us to be better. Why not talk to them？ Maybe that will make us have a better relation. Good relations usually depend on good communication.
We all have many problems. As long as we try our best to communicate， they will be solved one day.