这是一篇记事写人的优秀之作。不仅在于记叙了“绿纱窗后”母亲为孩子为全家成年累月洗濯衣物的辛劳,读来充满情感,而至关重要的是小作者发现了生活里流溢出沛然不绝的诗意的美。四次场景描写,以水之声、水之绿紧扣题旨,并用正面描写、多侧面衬染结合的写法勾勒出母亲对“我”的挚爱,以及她吃苦耐劳的坚韧品质。文章的脉络清晰,即伴随“我”的逐渐成长为线索,写母亲从小为“我”沐浴,为“我”不爱惜衣服并沾上的各种颜料而烦心操劳;从洗衣房出来接电话,绿纱窗后像一个水牢而令“我”触目惊心;走进洗衣房写生,水之绿,孕育室内诸多葳蕤的植物,衬托出母亲心灵的美丽……以一句“我仿佛听见水声”关乎开阖,使全文结构完整而又回味无穷。 This is an excellent piece of note writing. It is not only the narrative of the “green screen” mother’s hard work for the children to wash their clothes for the whole family, but also that it is full of emotions, but it is crucial that the young authors discover the poetic beauty of life. Four scene descriptions, with the sound of water and the green of water tightly bound the subject, and using a combination of frontal depictions and multi-faceted writing to outline the mother’s love of “I” and her hard temperament. The thread of the article is clear, that is, with the gradual growth of “I” as a clue, writing that mother has been bathed in “I” since childhood, and that “I” would not bother with clothes and stained with various pigments and bother to work hard; answering the phone from the laundry room, Behind the green screen window, like a dungeon, the “I” shocked me; I walked into the laundry room to paint, the green of water, bred many plants in the room, and brought out the beauty of my mother’s heart... with a phrase “I seem to hear the sound of water”. Oh, make the full text structure complete and memorable.