非爱行为,就是以爱的名义对最亲近的人进行非爱性的掠夺,亦即以爱的名义对最亲近的人进行一种强制性控制,让他人按自己的意愿去做。非爱行为对学生思想与行为的养成是极其有害的,轻则会挫伤孩子的学习积极性,诱发抵触与对抗情绪,重则会引起高强度叛逆,丧失相互间的对话空间,甚至出现严重的暴力冲突以及亲情关系决裂。因此,家长、教师必须弄情原委,有意识地对非爱行为加以调适。第一,适度期望,承认差异,让学生在健康的环境中学习。非爱行为最明显的表现,就是父母、教师把过高的人生期望强加在孩子身上,甚至把孩子作为自己人生缺憾和理想失意的补救对象,让孩子过早地承受沉重的 Non-loving behavior is the non-loving plunder of the closest people in the name of love, that is, a mandatory control over the closest people in the name of love and let others do as they please. Non-loving behavior is extremely harmful to the development of students’ thoughts and behaviors. It may not only dampen their enthusiasm for learning, induce conflicts and confrontational emotions, but also cause high-intensity treason and loss of mutual discourse and even serious Violent conflicts and family relations break. Therefore, parents and teachers must make the right decisions and consciously adjust their non-love behaviors. First, modest expectations, recognition of differences, so that students learn in a healthy environment. The most obvious manifestation of non-love behavior is that parents and teachers impose excessive expectations on their children, and even take their children as a remedy for their own life regret and idealistic frustration, so that children can bear heavy premature