因外出开学术会议,近半个月来的咨询信件积压了许多。回来后我抽了一点时间,把这些信仔细翻阅了一遍。在这些信中,我发现有两封是父母咨询有关儿童性别角色认同方面的问题。其中一位父亲在信中这样写道:“我在外地工作,由于每次回家时间较短,造成了夫妻间缺乏感情交流,妻子便把全部精力放到了儿子身上。天长日久,儿子形成了严重的恋母情结,不允许我与他母亲同床。今年儿子已13岁了,可仍改不了要与母亲睡在一起的习惯。我难得回家一趟,本想与妻子亲热一下,但每次都遭到儿子的‘干涉’。为此,我与妻子的感情也出现了危机。”这位父亲的苦恼尽情流露在字里行间,他希望我能帮助他解决儿子过分依恋母亲的问题。还有一位母亲来信说:“我结婚以后很想有个女儿,可事与愿违,第二年却生了个男孩,令我非常失望。为了‘补偿’思女的情感,我把儿子当女儿来养,不但给儿子取了个女性化十足的名字,还经常让他穿花裙子、涂口红、染指甲,让他跟女孩子一起玩耍。几年以后,烦恼出现了,我儿子变得越来越‘娘娘腔’,说起话来嗲声嗲气,并对涂口红、染指甲显出浓厚的兴趣。”这位母亲对自己的抚养方式不当感到非常后悔,却又不知道该采取哪些措施才能纠正儿子性别自认的问题。 Out of the academic conference, nearly half a month of consulting letters backlog a lot. After I came back I took a moment to read through these letters carefully. In these letters, I found two issues that parents are asking about gender identity of children. One of my fathers wrote in the letter: “I work in the field, because each time I go home short, resulting in a lack of emotional exchange between husband and wife, his wife put all his energy on the son. Serious Oedipus complex, do not allow me to bed with his mother .This year, 13-year-old son, still can not change the habit of sleeping with his mother .I am rare to go home, wanted to kiss his wife, but wanted to, but Every time my son’s ”interference.“ To this end, my wife and I also had a crisis in the relationship. ”“ The father’s distress revealed himself in the middle of the line, and he hoped I could help him solve his son’s problem of over-attachment to his mother. Another mother wrote: ”I wanted to have a daughter after I got married, but I was very disappointed when I gave birth to a boy the following year. In order to compensate for the feelings of thinking women, I treated my son as a daughter He raised his son not only for a feminine name, but often let him wear flower skirts, lipstick and nails to keep him playing with girls. A few years later, my son became more and more troubled The more ’sissy’, talking softly, and showing great interest in applying lipstick and nails. "The mother was very regretful about her improper way of raising, but she did not know what to take Measures to correct son’s gender self-recognition problem.