如果狗狗会发短信

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  Dog: You got a letter.
  Me: OK.
  Dog: From the bank, I think,
  Me: OK.
  Dog: Tasted important.
  Dog: Hey. Why are you keeping another dog in the bedroom?
  Me: Christ. I have told you so many times... That’s a mirror! The dog is yourself!
  Dog: Oh. OK.
  (Two days later...)
  Dog: Hey. Why are you keeping another dog in the bedroom?
  Me: Stop going in my bedroom!
  Dog: I’m still hungry.
  Me: You’ve had breakfast.
  Dog: I want more breakfast.
  Me: You’ll get fat.
  Dog: What’s “fat”?
  Me: It’s what happens when you eat too much food.
  Dog: Eat too much food? “Fat” sounds awesome. Let’s get fat.
  Dog: I found the stick.
  Me: Good boy!Bring it back.
  Dog: But I couldn’t find the stick you threw. I found a bigger one.
  Me: Where did you get it?
  Dog: It was next to an old man sitting on a bench.
  Me: Put it back!
  狗狗:收到一封给你的信。
  我:好的。
  狗狗:我想可能是从银行寄来的。
  我:好的。
  狗狗:尝起来很重要的样子。
  狗狗:喂!你为什么在卧室里又养一条狗?
  我:跟你说了多少次了……那是镜子,那条狗是你自己!
  狗狗:这样啊,好吧。
  (两天后……)
  狗狗:喂!你怎么在卧室里又养了一条狗?
  我:不许再进我的卧室了!
  狗狗:我还是饿。
  我:你不是吃过早餐了吗?
  狗狗:我还想吃。
  我:你会变胖的。
  狗狗:什么是“胖”?
  我:当你吃了很多东西后就会那样。
  狗狗:吃很多东西?那“胖”太棒了,我要变胖!
  狗狗:我找到棍子了。
  我:好样的!捡回来吧。
  狗狗:但是我找不到你扔的那根棍子,我找到的是个更大的。
  我:你从哪找的?
  狗狗:在一个坐在长椅上的老爷爷旁边。
  我:赶紧放回去!
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