继承家族的殡仪馆事业

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  曾经绝大多数人会谈“殡”色变,估计现在也有不少人会抗拒。给逝去的人整理衣服、清洗面部、涂唇、上腮红、轻轻地梳理头发……让逝者有尊严地、体面地离去,这是殡葬师的工作,也是殡仪馆的服务。不知道大家有没看过日本电影《入殓师》,该片讲述了日本入殓师为死去的人化妆整仪、纳入棺中的工作以及他的生活。影片中主角先是阴差阳错被迫无奈选择入殓师作为职业,后来竟爱上了这份工作。面对朋友、妻子的威逼,他选择了坚持;澡堂的老婆婆的去世,也终于让妻子理解了丈夫。这部电影让人对这个职业多了一份理解和感动,少了一点恐惧。以下是从事殡葬事业的一对美国父女的谈话,看看他们的工作对他们的生活有些什么影响。
  David Greene (Host): Time now for StoryCorps, the project that records people talking about their lives. This Friday before Labor Day, we’ll hear about a business that’s been in the same family for more than a century. Don Byles is a funeral director in New London, Conn. His grandfather started the family business in 1904.
  Now, Don is getting ready to hand over the 1)funeral home to his 25-year-old daughter, Mackenzie. They recently sat down for a conversation at StoryCorps.
  Don Byles: I think I was in junior high when I figured I was going to follow in the family footsteps. I had no clue about, like, being a 2)carpenter, or...
  Mackenzie Byles: You’re not too good at that.
  Don: ...I could’ve been a rock star, but I couldn’t play anything real good. But, you know, I didn’t think too much about doing anything else.
  Mackenzie: Are you nervous for me to take it over?
  Don: No. I’m not nervous about that. You will be the fourth generation of the family line. Now, I know I’ve had some reactions when I was growing up, hitting the dating pool. And when they asked what you did, some people would walk away. But how about yourself? Have you had problems?
  Mackenzie: I mean, I’m single now, so maybe I just don’t know if it’s affecting my dating life. But did I tell you about the time at school when this girl came up to me and asked me what my major was? I told her, and she literally turned around and walked away and didn’t say anything to me. And I got scared that my whole college experience was going to be people not wanting to be my friend, because I work at a funeral home. It’s very odd.
  Don: So what do you think the hardest part of your job is?
  Mackenzie: People don’t realize that it’s a 24/7 thing. Especially kids my age, you know, when I’m out a bar or something, and we get a death call and I have to go into work. They’re like, “Wait. Work right now? It’s 11:30 at night.” And in the funeral home, I find myself getting tearyeyed sometimes. I don’t want people to, like, see me. I’m supposed to be there to help them, and it’s like...
  Don: Yeah, well, it’s a tough thing sometimes.
  Mackenzie: Someone my age or when they’re younger than me is hard. But it’s rewarding when a family, they’re very pleased with how everything turned out.   Don: Having somebody come up and say thank you. We weren’t sure what was going to happen, but you made everything easy, really makes it all worthwhile, doing it so everybody’s happy or as happy—as they can be, having a funeral.
  Mackenzie: You’ve got to teach me a lot of stuff before you can retire. I’m a little nervous about being on my own here. I’ve 3)got big shoes to fill with you. People that come in the office and talk about you and say how great you are, and stuff. Don: They will be talking about you before too much longer. You’re going to do fine.(Soundbite of Music)
  Greene: That’s Don Byles and his daughter MacKenzie at StoryCorps in New London, Connecticut. Their story will be 4)archived at the Library of Congress.
  戴维·格林(主持人):现在是“故事团”的时间,这个计划旨在收录人们讲述自己生活的故事。劳动节前的这个星期五(译者注:文中所指时间是8月30日),我们将听到一个有着一百多年历史的家族企业的故事。唐·拜尔斯是康涅狄格州新伦敦一家殡仪馆的董事长,他的祖父在1904年就创办了这个家族企业。
  目前,唐正准备把殡仪馆交给他25岁的女儿麦肯齐打理。他们最近在“故事团”坐下来进行了一番交谈。
  唐·拜尔斯:当我明白自己准备要接管家族企业的时候,我想我是在读初中吧。我对此毫无头绪,是要做个木工还是……
  麦肯齐·拜尔斯:你并不太擅长做这个(木工)。
  唐:……我可能已经是一名摇滚歌手,但我玩什么乐器都不够专业。然而你是知道的,我没怎么想过要做其他事情。麦肯齐:我接管殡仪馆你会担忧吗?唐:不,我并不担忧。你将是我们家族企业的第四代掌门人。现在我知道在我的成长过程中,这个行业对我的恋爱经历还是有影响的。当他们问我是做什么的,有人一听就走开。你呢?有问题吗?
  麦肯齐:我是说,我现在还单身,所以可能还不知道这个会不会影响到我的恋爱生活。但是我有告诉过你吗?我读书的时候有个女孩走过来,问我的专业是什么。我告诉了她,她直接就转头走开,没有跟我说任何话。我很担心在整个大学生活里,没有人愿意做我的朋友,因为我在一家殡仪馆工作。这很奇怪。唐:那你觉得你的工作中最困难的部分是什么?
  麦肯齐:人们没意识到这是个全年无休的工作。特别是像我这样年纪的人,你知道的,当我去酒吧或出去其他地方玩,我们接到电话说有人需要殡葬服务,我就必须要去工作了。他们会这样说:“等等,现在还工作?已经是晚上11点半了。”而在殡仪馆里,有时我发现自己会泪眼婆娑,我不想人们看到我这种状态。我在那里是要帮助他们的,就好像……
  唐:是啊,有时候那是件难熬的事情。
  麦肯齐:像我这样年纪的人或者比我还小的人是很难熬的。但是当一个家庭,他们对我们所做的一切非常满意的时候,所有事情都是值得的。
  唐:有人走过来跟我们说谢谢。虽然我们还不确定接下来会发生什么,但是我们把一切都做得很顺利,让人觉得一切都值得,在殡葬服务中,尽量让每个人都满意。
  麦肯齐:你退休之前必须教会我很多东西。我将要自己独力支撑还是感觉有点紧张。(你做得那么出色),我真是任重而道远。人们来到办公室提起你,说你是如此的了不起之类的话。
  唐:不久之后他们也会不断提起你的,你会做得很出色。(音乐片段)
  格林:这是唐·拜尔斯和他女儿麦肯齐在康涅狄格州新伦敦“故事团”的谈话,他们的故事将被收藏在美国国会图书馆。
  小链接
  Labor Day 美国劳动节
  美国劳动节,也叫劳工节,每年9月的第一个星期一,是夏天最后一个长周末大假的一部分,全国民众可以连续休息三天。对许多美国人来说,劳动节的到来既意味着夏季的结束,同时也是举行派对、聚会和体育盛事的时间。劳动节,已和最初赋予它的意义渐行渐远。
  StoryCorps 故事团
  2003年,纽约曼哈顿的中央车站出现了第一个公共录音亭———这便是美国历史上最大规模口述史计划的开始,称之为“故事团”( StoryCorps)。
  “故事团”在全美的一些枢纽地段,像地铁站、购物中心等地,提供录音设施,邀请南来北往的人们进入录音亭或在流动录音车上,讲述他们自己的故事。
  这个计划的目标是持续10年,收集上百万普通美国人的记录。这些故事的录音,将被永远收藏在美国国会图书馆,成为美国最大的口述资料库,给后人留下美国普通人生活、经历、思想、情感的珍贵原始记录。我们可以想象,在50或100年后,这些个人生活的真实如实记录,将是多么难得的资料。
  美国全国公共广播电台( NPR)为配合这个计划,每周五的清早都会选播一个录音故事。这些故事里,有夫妻之情、有子女父辈关系、有新移民的打拼、有成果的经验、有失败的教训……他们具有不同年龄、种族、职业、阶层、出生地、家庭背景,录音多是夫妻、父女、祖孙、朋友等两人的对话,深情流露,表达感恩,领悟人生哲理,故事感人肺腑,令人唏嘘,触动心灵。
  这个计划的发起者称,在美国,普通人的故事至关重要,这也是“故事团”的初衷。对参与者来说,他们所讲的故事,是他们“想给世人留下的记忆”,展示他们“生命中最重要的时刻”。这个计划就是要“人们把心里的话讲出来”,使全美国的人有机会进行心灵的交流。

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