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【摘要】近年来高考英语试题中的书面表达常常以图画或图表的形式呈现,而依据阅读短文进行重新写作的形式却很少出现,如何才能写好阅读短文后的书面表达,本文从若干方面论述了如何依据短文写好书面表达的注意事项。
【关键词】精辟;深思;新创
纵观近年来江苏高考英语试题可以看出,其书面表达常常以图画或表格内容呈现,因此,在平时的实际训练中教师和学生也往往把这些内容作为重点,而很少关注其它的写作训练。而仔细对比了2012和2013高考英语考试说明后,发现在文字说明上略有不同,2013的考试说明在原书面表达要求的基础上增加了“短文”两字。这就意味着在平时的训练中教师必须对此加以关注,并在此方面加强一些训练已防患于未然。如何依据所给短文的内容展开叙述或提出不同的见解,这样的形式学生基本接触很少,倘若碰到诸如此类的形式也许会措手不及。如何才能依据所提供的短文写好书面表达,现以下面的一篇短文为例,从若干方面加以阐述。
More and more parents are sending their children on “micro-foreign study tours”. Parents hope these tours, typically 10 to 14 days travelling through English-speaking countries such as America or the UK, will help improve their children’s language proficiency as well as provide them with a greater understanding of the local customs and culture.
But while these tours are “micro” in terms of time, they certainly aren’t micro in prince. The average tour cost RMB 30000!
And just how useful are they? First of all, participating children don’t have much time to “study”. They typically attend a few morning lessons then travel to some world-famous universities or scenic spots in the afternoon and on the weekend. Their exposure to the local culture comes mainly during the time they stay with a local family, usually 2 or 3 days. For the rest of the tour they are with their Chinese classmates, almost always speaking Chinese. And on some tours, organizers take students, who are often too young to make sensible decisions, on shopping trips where they’re encouraged to buy all kinds of useless “souvenirs”. No wonder when they return, most children talk the “fun we gad”, and “please we saw” rather than the “things we learnt”.
So some parents are now having second thoughts about the value of these micro-foreign study tours. How much do they really help their children? Are they worth the money? And finally, are the tours meant for study or just for pleasure?
写作内容:
1. 以约30词概括上文的主要内容。
2. 以约120词对父母送孩子出国游学的现象进行讨论,内容包括:
(1) 你是否赞成文中对出国游学的看法?
(2) 以你或他人的经历说明你的观点。
(3) 如果有机会,你愿意参加什么样的出国游学?
写作要求:
在作文中可以使用自己亲身经历或虚构的故事,也可以参照阅读材料的内容,但不得直接引用原文中的句子。
该短文主要论述了当前出国游学的现象,是能使学生真正有所收获还是湖光掠影地进行游览,不同的
人对此持有不同的观点。因此,如何利用这一素材重新构思写出自己的感悟,依据短文的写作时需要注意哪些问题,学生并非十分清楚,许多学生常常将原文中的话语直接地运用到自己所写的内容中,从而违背了其写作的要求。如何才能做到既源于短文又有新意,可从下面的几点加以考虑。
一、概括精辟、阐述到位
根据以上的写作要求首先要以30词对全文的内容作一概括,无论是反对的观点或赞成的观点,都要做到概括精辟,阐述到位,因此,在写作时首先要吃透所提供内容的精髓,才能作出合理的概括,以一针见血的方法阐明其道理。现对两篇不同的表达作一浅见的分析。 This passage talks about micro-foreign study tours and their expected benefits for children. However, given students’ actual experience on such tours, many parents are now questioning their true value.
从该段落的内容可以看出作者持有的是反对的观点,作者首先阐述了短文的主旨大意。“该段落谈论了出国游学一事以及家长们所希望给小孩带来的益处,然而,在这短暂的时间内能否获得实际的体验,许多家长对此持有怀疑的态度”。
More and more parents engage their children in expensive “micro-foreign study tours”. However, they’ve failed to see the expected results and begin to question the value of these study tours.
“越来越多的家长让他们的小孩去体验出国游学,然而他们未能看到所期待的结果,因而对出国游学的价值产生了怀疑”。两个段落用不同的结构分别阐述了对出国游学的价值,这样的概括既浓缩了原文首段的内容,又较好地把个人的观点呈现。所用的词汇与原文截然不同,第一个段落用expected benefits for children,actual experience,questioning their true value将个人的观点和盘托出,点到为止,体现了概括精辟的特点。第二个段落用engage their children in,failed to see the expected results,question the value of等话语,从激情满怀到失望之际,最终产生怀疑,采用步步入围的形式加以概括,其阐述细微精致。从上面两段的概括可以清楚地看出,要想做到精辟的概括须摆脱原文的束缚,切忌只从原文中找出一些词语加以搪塞,要结合整个文章内容作出合情合理的概括,才能点明其主题。
二、深思熟虑,反复推敲
要想较好地阐明自己的观点必须结合所给的提示深思熟虑,该从何处着手,既要反映出原文中的精髓又要讲将个人的观点较好地融入文章中。因此,须慎重地考虑行文的步骤,所写的话语既能反映出当前的现状又能给人以较强的说服力,只有全盘考虑才能形成良好的文字叙述。参看下面的两段表达,也许会有所启发。
I think such worries are unnecessary. Travelling abroad, whether for study or pleasure, is a good way for students to broaden their horizon and become more sophisticated. My friend David went on such a tour, and said it was the most rewarding experience of his life. He attended a two-week course at Oxford University and then travelled to different parts of the UK, all of which helped him to learn more about the history, culture and society of Britain. He was so impressed by the academic atmosphere at Oxford University that he now dreams of studying there in the future.
该段落作者以他人的体验点明了游学的益处。其担忧毫无必要,无论是学习还是玩乐学生都能扩展其眼界,从而老于世故。通过游学David对人生的目标有了新的体验,认为此举可以使其更多地了解英国的历史、文化和社会风貌,而使其印象深刻的是牛津大学的学术氛围,激起其在未来向往去该校留学的激情。这样的阐述既合情也合理,通过具体的事例说明了该活动的益处,较好地表明了自己或他人的观点。
I couldn’t agree more with the author. Students on such tours seldom improve in their spoken English, gain a very shallow understanding of foreign customs, and return loaded with shopping rather than cultural enrichment.
I went on such a tour myself years ago. I still remember how other students behaved in class: they were all obsessed with their own business without paying any attention to the teachers. They were quite “enjoying” foreign classrooms: whispering and laughing, reading Chinese romantic novels, playing game-boys, or just chatting online.
该段落运用自己切身的经历提出不同的看法,认为出国游学对提高口语水平帮助不大,对他国风俗习惯的理解是肤浅的,与其说是文化的丰富倒不如说是购物的收获。作者利用自己游学的体验说明收获甚微,用几个具体的动词作了游学的归纳:whispering and laughing, reading Chinese romantic novels, playing game-boys, or just chatting online.而此举则是通过高昂的代价所换取,作者深刻地揭示了出国游学的无望。 通过上面两个不同段落的对比可以看出,学生对该活动持有的是不同的观点。而这些表达的形成都是经过深思熟虑而形成的内容,既符合写作的要求又给人以信服。因此,在写作时一定要从不同的视角出发,将自己的观点阐明清楚,而不能仅仅依在原文的基础上稍作变化,草率从事。
三、新创为主,借鉴为辅
在阅读短文的写作中许多学生由于缺乏基本的写作功底,常常将原文的整句化为自己所写的内容,而全然不知这样做其实是违背了写作的要求。这样的结果最终是不能获取理想的分数的。如何才能做到所阐述的内容既与原文相符合又不局限于原文,这就要求学生具有较高的归纳和遣词造句的能力,阅读下面两篇文章的收尾段也许便会见端倪。
My own dream is to travel to America, attend some lectures in my dream school, Harvard University and travel to different parts of the USA with local students. This way I could have more opportunity to talk in English and learn about its life and culture.
该段落作者阐述了自己的想法“我自己的梦想是去美国旅行,能够去我理想的学校哈佛大学学习,并能与美国学生一起去不同的地方,通过这样的方式会有更多的机会用英语交流和了解其文化与生活”。
该段落其实是依据第三项的要求抒呈现个人的见解,当然在表达个人的感悟时不能完全按照原文的内容去阐述,应结合自己的观点加以发挥,才能摆脱原文的束缚。这样的表达既符合文章要点所提的要求,又将个人的对未来的憧憬娓娓道来,既较好地表达了文章的内容又不拘泥于原文,从而完成了试题的要求。
Obviously, experiences like these don’t make any educational sense. Perhaps, if tours involve students not only from China, but also from other countries, it will force students to communicate in English, which, at least in my opinion, would greatly improve their communicative English skills.
作者在结尾段用这样的话语表达了对出国游学的看法“显然,从教育意义上而言,这样的经历并非行得通,但如果学生不仅仅是来自中国,而是来自不同的国家,这就迫使他们用英语进行交流,从而会提高他们运用英语的能力”。两段不同的见解将对出国游学的实质表达得十分明确,有利还是有弊,使人一目了然。两段截然不同的表达完全突显了作者的观点,使人感到其言之有理,并且无论在结构上或表达的内容上都与原文有着千丝万缕的联系,较好地完成了写作的要求,在借鉴的基础上体现了创新的特色。
通过上面几点的论述可以看出,阅读短文后的写作其实重点是个人的感悟。这样的写作绝非是简单的重新叙述,而是要在透彻理解原文的基础上的创作,无论是简短的概括还是对问题的阐述或是个人对问题的见解,都需要学生经过认真的阅读和思考才能形成。这样的书面表达既能体现学生的概括水平也检验学生运用英语水平的能力。因此,在平时的学习中教师应不断地培养学生在此方面的能力,作为学生而言也应在课堂内外作一些实质性的操练,使自己的书面表达更上一个台阶。
【关键词】精辟;深思;新创
纵观近年来江苏高考英语试题可以看出,其书面表达常常以图画或表格内容呈现,因此,在平时的实际训练中教师和学生也往往把这些内容作为重点,而很少关注其它的写作训练。而仔细对比了2012和2013高考英语考试说明后,发现在文字说明上略有不同,2013的考试说明在原书面表达要求的基础上增加了“短文”两字。这就意味着在平时的训练中教师必须对此加以关注,并在此方面加强一些训练已防患于未然。如何依据所给短文的内容展开叙述或提出不同的见解,这样的形式学生基本接触很少,倘若碰到诸如此类的形式也许会措手不及。如何才能依据所提供的短文写好书面表达,现以下面的一篇短文为例,从若干方面加以阐述。
More and more parents are sending their children on “micro-foreign study tours”. Parents hope these tours, typically 10 to 14 days travelling through English-speaking countries such as America or the UK, will help improve their children’s language proficiency as well as provide them with a greater understanding of the local customs and culture.
But while these tours are “micro” in terms of time, they certainly aren’t micro in prince. The average tour cost RMB 30000!
And just how useful are they? First of all, participating children don’t have much time to “study”. They typically attend a few morning lessons then travel to some world-famous universities or scenic spots in the afternoon and on the weekend. Their exposure to the local culture comes mainly during the time they stay with a local family, usually 2 or 3 days. For the rest of the tour they are with their Chinese classmates, almost always speaking Chinese. And on some tours, organizers take students, who are often too young to make sensible decisions, on shopping trips where they’re encouraged to buy all kinds of useless “souvenirs”. No wonder when they return, most children talk the “fun we gad”, and “please we saw” rather than the “things we learnt”.
So some parents are now having second thoughts about the value of these micro-foreign study tours. How much do they really help their children? Are they worth the money? And finally, are the tours meant for study or just for pleasure?
写作内容:
1. 以约30词概括上文的主要内容。
2. 以约120词对父母送孩子出国游学的现象进行讨论,内容包括:
(1) 你是否赞成文中对出国游学的看法?
(2) 以你或他人的经历说明你的观点。
(3) 如果有机会,你愿意参加什么样的出国游学?
写作要求:
在作文中可以使用自己亲身经历或虚构的故事,也可以参照阅读材料的内容,但不得直接引用原文中的句子。
该短文主要论述了当前出国游学的现象,是能使学生真正有所收获还是湖光掠影地进行游览,不同的
人对此持有不同的观点。因此,如何利用这一素材重新构思写出自己的感悟,依据短文的写作时需要注意哪些问题,学生并非十分清楚,许多学生常常将原文中的话语直接地运用到自己所写的内容中,从而违背了其写作的要求。如何才能做到既源于短文又有新意,可从下面的几点加以考虑。
一、概括精辟、阐述到位
根据以上的写作要求首先要以30词对全文的内容作一概括,无论是反对的观点或赞成的观点,都要做到概括精辟,阐述到位,因此,在写作时首先要吃透所提供内容的精髓,才能作出合理的概括,以一针见血的方法阐明其道理。现对两篇不同的表达作一浅见的分析。 This passage talks about micro-foreign study tours and their expected benefits for children. However, given students’ actual experience on such tours, many parents are now questioning their true value.
从该段落的内容可以看出作者持有的是反对的观点,作者首先阐述了短文的主旨大意。“该段落谈论了出国游学一事以及家长们所希望给小孩带来的益处,然而,在这短暂的时间内能否获得实际的体验,许多家长对此持有怀疑的态度”。
More and more parents engage their children in expensive “micro-foreign study tours”. However, they’ve failed to see the expected results and begin to question the value of these study tours.
“越来越多的家长让他们的小孩去体验出国游学,然而他们未能看到所期待的结果,因而对出国游学的价值产生了怀疑”。两个段落用不同的结构分别阐述了对出国游学的价值,这样的概括既浓缩了原文首段的内容,又较好地把个人的观点呈现。所用的词汇与原文截然不同,第一个段落用expected benefits for children,actual experience,questioning their true value将个人的观点和盘托出,点到为止,体现了概括精辟的特点。第二个段落用engage their children in,failed to see the expected results,question the value of等话语,从激情满怀到失望之际,最终产生怀疑,采用步步入围的形式加以概括,其阐述细微精致。从上面两段的概括可以清楚地看出,要想做到精辟的概括须摆脱原文的束缚,切忌只从原文中找出一些词语加以搪塞,要结合整个文章内容作出合情合理的概括,才能点明其主题。
二、深思熟虑,反复推敲
要想较好地阐明自己的观点必须结合所给的提示深思熟虑,该从何处着手,既要反映出原文中的精髓又要讲将个人的观点较好地融入文章中。因此,须慎重地考虑行文的步骤,所写的话语既能反映出当前的现状又能给人以较强的说服力,只有全盘考虑才能形成良好的文字叙述。参看下面的两段表达,也许会有所启发。
I think such worries are unnecessary. Travelling abroad, whether for study or pleasure, is a good way for students to broaden their horizon and become more sophisticated. My friend David went on such a tour, and said it was the most rewarding experience of his life. He attended a two-week course at Oxford University and then travelled to different parts of the UK, all of which helped him to learn more about the history, culture and society of Britain. He was so impressed by the academic atmosphere at Oxford University that he now dreams of studying there in the future.
该段落作者以他人的体验点明了游学的益处。其担忧毫无必要,无论是学习还是玩乐学生都能扩展其眼界,从而老于世故。通过游学David对人生的目标有了新的体验,认为此举可以使其更多地了解英国的历史、文化和社会风貌,而使其印象深刻的是牛津大学的学术氛围,激起其在未来向往去该校留学的激情。这样的阐述既合情也合理,通过具体的事例说明了该活动的益处,较好地表明了自己或他人的观点。
I couldn’t agree more with the author. Students on such tours seldom improve in their spoken English, gain a very shallow understanding of foreign customs, and return loaded with shopping rather than cultural enrichment.
I went on such a tour myself years ago. I still remember how other students behaved in class: they were all obsessed with their own business without paying any attention to the teachers. They were quite “enjoying” foreign classrooms: whispering and laughing, reading Chinese romantic novels, playing game-boys, or just chatting online.
该段落运用自己切身的经历提出不同的看法,认为出国游学对提高口语水平帮助不大,对他国风俗习惯的理解是肤浅的,与其说是文化的丰富倒不如说是购物的收获。作者利用自己游学的体验说明收获甚微,用几个具体的动词作了游学的归纳:whispering and laughing, reading Chinese romantic novels, playing game-boys, or just chatting online.而此举则是通过高昂的代价所换取,作者深刻地揭示了出国游学的无望。 通过上面两个不同段落的对比可以看出,学生对该活动持有的是不同的观点。而这些表达的形成都是经过深思熟虑而形成的内容,既符合写作的要求又给人以信服。因此,在写作时一定要从不同的视角出发,将自己的观点阐明清楚,而不能仅仅依在原文的基础上稍作变化,草率从事。
三、新创为主,借鉴为辅
在阅读短文的写作中许多学生由于缺乏基本的写作功底,常常将原文的整句化为自己所写的内容,而全然不知这样做其实是违背了写作的要求。这样的结果最终是不能获取理想的分数的。如何才能做到所阐述的内容既与原文相符合又不局限于原文,这就要求学生具有较高的归纳和遣词造句的能力,阅读下面两篇文章的收尾段也许便会见端倪。
My own dream is to travel to America, attend some lectures in my dream school, Harvard University and travel to different parts of the USA with local students. This way I could have more opportunity to talk in English and learn about its life and culture.
该段落作者阐述了自己的想法“我自己的梦想是去美国旅行,能够去我理想的学校哈佛大学学习,并能与美国学生一起去不同的地方,通过这样的方式会有更多的机会用英语交流和了解其文化与生活”。
该段落其实是依据第三项的要求抒呈现个人的见解,当然在表达个人的感悟时不能完全按照原文的内容去阐述,应结合自己的观点加以发挥,才能摆脱原文的束缚。这样的表达既符合文章要点所提的要求,又将个人的对未来的憧憬娓娓道来,既较好地表达了文章的内容又不拘泥于原文,从而完成了试题的要求。
Obviously, experiences like these don’t make any educational sense. Perhaps, if tours involve students not only from China, but also from other countries, it will force students to communicate in English, which, at least in my opinion, would greatly improve their communicative English skills.
作者在结尾段用这样的话语表达了对出国游学的看法“显然,从教育意义上而言,这样的经历并非行得通,但如果学生不仅仅是来自中国,而是来自不同的国家,这就迫使他们用英语进行交流,从而会提高他们运用英语的能力”。两段不同的见解将对出国游学的实质表达得十分明确,有利还是有弊,使人一目了然。两段截然不同的表达完全突显了作者的观点,使人感到其言之有理,并且无论在结构上或表达的内容上都与原文有着千丝万缕的联系,较好地完成了写作的要求,在借鉴的基础上体现了创新的特色。
通过上面几点的论述可以看出,阅读短文后的写作其实重点是个人的感悟。这样的写作绝非是简单的重新叙述,而是要在透彻理解原文的基础上的创作,无论是简短的概括还是对问题的阐述或是个人对问题的见解,都需要学生经过认真的阅读和思考才能形成。这样的书面表达既能体现学生的概括水平也检验学生运用英语水平的能力。因此,在平时的学习中教师应不断地培养学生在此方面的能力,作为学生而言也应在课堂内外作一些实质性的操练,使自己的书面表达更上一个台阶。