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For several years， Katie Miller， a 27-year-old artist based in Parkton， Maryland， 30 miles north of Baltimore， found inspiration in newborns. She nudged her friends， family， and neighbors to allow her to photograph their tiny babies so she could paint 1）painstakingly detailed portraits of them.
凯蒂·米勒是一名27岁的画家，家住离美国港口城市巴尔的摩以北30英里（约48.3公里）的马里兰州帕克顿镇。好几年来，凯蒂一直从新生婴儿身上汲取创作的灵感。无论是朋友、亲戚，还是邻居，凯蒂都会“缠着”他们，希望能为其小宝宝拍照，以便对照着细致地绘画出他们的画像。
在奥斯卡最佳影片《美丽心灵》中，主人公是患有精神分裂症的数学天才，对数学的执念与愈发严重的病症令其痛苦不已。幸运的是，主人公的妻子在得知丈夫的病情后没有逃避，而是给予他极致的关怀与支持。最终，主人公战胜顽疾并获得诺贝尔经济学奖。在现实生活中，拥有过人天赋却伴有精神障碍的“美丽心灵”还有很多，自闭症患者就是其中之一。但是，自闭症患者能否像电影中的主人公那么幸运？他们的现实生活又会是怎样的呢？凯蒂·米勒，一位患上自闭症的少女，跟我们分享了她的经历。
That 2）unwavering intensity isn’t just the mark of a 3）die-hard artist. Eight years ago， Miller was diagnosed with autism， the neurological and developmental disorder that affects a person’s ability to socialize and communicate with others. Her marathon painting sessions are just the kind of repetitive behavior typical among many with highfunctioning autism， often classified as Asperger’s syndrome. But what’s most striking about Miller’s autism is that it was even identified at all. Roughly 80 percent of the estimated 1.5 million Americans living with autism are men； because the disorder is so commonly associated with boys， women are 4）notoriously underdiagnosed.
From all outward appearances， Miller looks like a typical 20-something， though it’s not until you step inside her parents’ home， where she lives in a room decorated with bright-blue carpets， an acid-green chair， and a grape-purple couch， that it becomes clear that she harbors an uncommon affinity for eye-popping color. Miller’s astounding draftsmanship， her ability to paint with an almost photographic quality， may be related to her autism. Some experts speculate it may have something to do with the obsessive repetitive behaviors that children with autism develop， as they tend to “practice” their craft more intensely and with greater focus than other children.
Her autism also makes her acutely sensitive to overstimulation， which triggers a reaction called “5）stimming”—rocking back and forth or humming， for example. A loud jukebox， a crowded restaurant， even the pungent odor from a grill， can trigger a meltdown of anxiety， tears， and even vomiting. She braces for the worst-case scenario by lugging around a large pair of 6）Day-Glo headphones—the same bulky， noise-canceling model used by construction workers. Putting them on instantly transports her out of the 7）maddening noise to a place of peace and quiet. Even prolonged eye contact can make Miller uncomfortable. During conversations， she reflexively reaches for a soft， plastic dinosaur in her bag， one of several “stim toys” she keeps in her purse， and squeezes it until she can focus.
This made college—and now the artgallery scene she inhabits—a complicated social labyrinth for her to navigate. Like when a friend walks by and flashes a smile， Miller confesses that she doesn’t always know how to read this generic gesture of goodwill. “I don’t get the difference between a nice expression and a not-nice expression，” she sighs. And despite her all-American good looks，Miller remains single， unable to decode the flirtatious looks and body language that are the 8）preamble to a hookup.
Nonetheless， Miller does maintain a robust social life， having joined the 9）burgeoning network of autism activists. She is an outspoken proponent of the“neurodiversity” movement， which maintains that autism isn’t a disease to be cured but a different way of seeing the world， an alternative form of intelligence. To some， autism is an undesirable glitch in the complicated wiring of the brain； the neurodiversity crowd speculates that， in fact， some of history’s most successful and creative people had autism. （Bill Gates and Albert Einstein are often name-checked， though neither has ever been confirmed to have had it.） As such， the condition should be nurtured， not isolated and treated.
“I don’t have autism—I’m autistic. In the same way you wouldn’t say you have femaleness， you’d say you are a woman，” Miller explains， as she tidies up her parents’ two-car garage， which she converted into a studio. In recent years， she’s moved on from newborns. Her work now features oversized toddlers who look， oddly， at once mature， even strangely 10）alluring， yet young and defenseless. Examining one of her paintings， head tilted to the side， she explains， “I suppose you could say I relate to them a lot.”
然而，这股不可动摇的热情却不仅仅源于对艺术的极度执着。八年前，米勒被诊断出患有自闭症。这是一种由神经及发育障碍造成的社交困难症。她不间断的绘画过程其实是一种重复性行为，亦是高功能自闭症患者的典型症状，这种症状被归类为“阿斯伯格综合症”。但最让人惊讶的是，米勒的自闭症竟然还能被诊断出来。在美国的150万自闭症患者中，大约有百分之八十是男性。因为自闭症在男性群体中更为常见，所以女性患者很少能被诊断出来，这是出了名的事。
从外表上看，米勒和普通二十多岁的年轻人别无他样。但当你踏进米勒父母的家，亲眼看到米勒房间里亮蓝色的地毯，鲜绿色的椅子和嫩紫色的沙发，你可能就不会这样想了。相反地，你会看出米勒对于抢眼的颜色有着不同寻常的喜爱。米勒不可思议的绘图技艺和逼真程度堪比照片的绘画能力，或许都与她的自闭症有关。有些科学家推测自闭症儿童的天赋可能与他们的强迫性重复行为有关。毕竟比起其他儿童，他们练习技艺的次数更多，注意力也更集中。
米勒的自闭症也使得她对于过度刺激极度敏感，而这种刺激会触发一种叫“自我刺激行为”的身体反应——例如前后摇晃或是发出嗡嗡声。音量过高的自动点唱机、人群拥挤的餐厅，甚至是烤肉架的刺鼻气味都会使她的焦虑瞬间爆发，并无法抑制地流泪甚至呕吐。面对最糟糕的情况，米勒已经想好了应对方法——戴上一副大大的荧光色耳机。这种建筑工人才会佩戴的笨重耳机能很好地隔绝噪音，一戴上米勒就能从令人发狂的噪音中解放出来，进入到另一个平静安宁的世界。即使是持续时间过长的眼神交流也让米勒无所适从。在整个谈话过程中，她条件反射地揉捏包里的一个恐龙毛绒玩具，这是她放在包里的其中一只“镇静玩具”。 米勒会一直捏着玩具，直到自己能集中注意力才松手。
对于米勒来说，这一点使得大学校园——现在是画廊美术馆这样的地方——成为复杂的社交迷宫。米勒承认，当她的朋友走过并冲她微微一笑时，她并不能完全读懂这种友善的示意。米勒叹气道：“我无法分辨一个友善的表情和一个恶意的表情。”尽管拥有令美国人钦慕的美貌，米勒现在仍是单身。她无法理解男生们在追求她之前所做的各种暗示性表情和动作。
尽管如此，米勒仍然维持着健康向上的社交生活，并加入了不断壮大的自闭症患者组织，成为其中的一名活跃分子。米勒直言支持“神经系统多样化”运动，此运动强调自闭症并非一种需要治疗的病症，而是看待世界的另一种方式，是另一种智慧。对于一些人来说，自闭症只不过是复杂的大脑线路在运行中出现的一个小故障。根据神经系统多样化支持者的推测，一些历史上被认为最成功、最富创造力的人其实都患有自闭症。（比尔·盖茨和阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦多次被传出患有自闭症，但两人都没有对此作出澄清。）因此，面对自闭症患者，我们不应孤立他们，或是把他们当做病人去治疗，而是要给予他们呵护。
“我并没有患上自闭症，我只是比较孤僻的人。同样地，你不会说自己拥有‘女性特征’，你会说自己是个女人。”米勒一边向我解释，一边在收拾她的工作室。这个工作室的前身是她父母的车库，空间足以停放两辆汽车。近几年来，米勒已经不再痴迷于给婴儿绘画。她现在的作品主人公多为体型特大的学步小童。很奇怪地，这些小孩乍一看很成熟，甚至可以说异常吸引人，然而他们又是如此稚嫩和不堪一击。当米勒侧头细细审视自已的一幅画作时，她这样说道：“我想我的确跟他们很像。”
凯蒂·米勒是一名27岁的画家，家住离美国港口城市巴尔的摩以北30英里（约48.3公里）的马里兰州帕克顿镇。好几年来，凯蒂一直从新生婴儿身上汲取创作的灵感。无论是朋友、亲戚，还是邻居，凯蒂都会“缠着”他们，希望能为其小宝宝拍照，以便对照着细致地绘画出他们的画像。
在奥斯卡最佳影片《美丽心灵》中，主人公是患有精神分裂症的数学天才，对数学的执念与愈发严重的病症令其痛苦不已。幸运的是，主人公的妻子在得知丈夫的病情后没有逃避，而是给予他极致的关怀与支持。最终，主人公战胜顽疾并获得诺贝尔经济学奖。在现实生活中，拥有过人天赋却伴有精神障碍的“美丽心灵”还有很多，自闭症患者就是其中之一。但是，自闭症患者能否像电影中的主人公那么幸运？他们的现实生活又会是怎样的呢？凯蒂·米勒，一位患上自闭症的少女，跟我们分享了她的经历。
That 2）unwavering intensity isn’t just the mark of a 3）die-hard artist. Eight years ago， Miller was diagnosed with autism， the neurological and developmental disorder that affects a person’s ability to socialize and communicate with others. Her marathon painting sessions are just the kind of repetitive behavior typical among many with highfunctioning autism， often classified as Asperger’s syndrome. But what’s most striking about Miller’s autism is that it was even identified at all. Roughly 80 percent of the estimated 1.5 million Americans living with autism are men； because the disorder is so commonly associated with boys， women are 4）notoriously underdiagnosed.
From all outward appearances， Miller looks like a typical 20-something， though it’s not until you step inside her parents’ home， where she lives in a room decorated with bright-blue carpets， an acid-green chair， and a grape-purple couch， that it becomes clear that she harbors an uncommon affinity for eye-popping color. Miller’s astounding draftsmanship， her ability to paint with an almost photographic quality， may be related to her autism. Some experts speculate it may have something to do with the obsessive repetitive behaviors that children with autism develop， as they tend to “practice” their craft more intensely and with greater focus than other children.
Her autism also makes her acutely sensitive to overstimulation， which triggers a reaction called “5）stimming”—rocking back and forth or humming， for example. A loud jukebox， a crowded restaurant， even the pungent odor from a grill， can trigger a meltdown of anxiety， tears， and even vomiting. She braces for the worst-case scenario by lugging around a large pair of 6）Day-Glo headphones—the same bulky， noise-canceling model used by construction workers. Putting them on instantly transports her out of the 7）maddening noise to a place of peace and quiet. Even prolonged eye contact can make Miller uncomfortable. During conversations， she reflexively reaches for a soft， plastic dinosaur in her bag， one of several “stim toys” she keeps in her purse， and squeezes it until she can focus.
This made college—and now the artgallery scene she inhabits—a complicated social labyrinth for her to navigate. Like when a friend walks by and flashes a smile， Miller confesses that she doesn’t always know how to read this generic gesture of goodwill. “I don’t get the difference between a nice expression and a not-nice expression，” she sighs. And despite her all-American good looks，Miller remains single， unable to decode the flirtatious looks and body language that are the 8）preamble to a hookup.
Nonetheless， Miller does maintain a robust social life， having joined the 9）burgeoning network of autism activists. She is an outspoken proponent of the“neurodiversity” movement， which maintains that autism isn’t a disease to be cured but a different way of seeing the world， an alternative form of intelligence. To some， autism is an undesirable glitch in the complicated wiring of the brain； the neurodiversity crowd speculates that， in fact， some of history’s most successful and creative people had autism. （Bill Gates and Albert Einstein are often name-checked， though neither has ever been confirmed to have had it.） As such， the condition should be nurtured， not isolated and treated.
“I don’t have autism—I’m autistic. In the same way you wouldn’t say you have femaleness， you’d say you are a woman，” Miller explains， as she tidies up her parents’ two-car garage， which she converted into a studio. In recent years， she’s moved on from newborns. Her work now features oversized toddlers who look， oddly， at once mature， even strangely 10）alluring， yet young and defenseless. Examining one of her paintings， head tilted to the side， she explains， “I suppose you could say I relate to them a lot.”
然而，这股不可动摇的热情却不仅仅源于对艺术的极度执着。八年前，米勒被诊断出患有自闭症。这是一种由神经及发育障碍造成的社交困难症。她不间断的绘画过程其实是一种重复性行为，亦是高功能自闭症患者的典型症状，这种症状被归类为“阿斯伯格综合症”。但最让人惊讶的是，米勒的自闭症竟然还能被诊断出来。在美国的150万自闭症患者中，大约有百分之八十是男性。因为自闭症在男性群体中更为常见，所以女性患者很少能被诊断出来，这是出了名的事。
从外表上看，米勒和普通二十多岁的年轻人别无他样。但当你踏进米勒父母的家，亲眼看到米勒房间里亮蓝色的地毯，鲜绿色的椅子和嫩紫色的沙发，你可能就不会这样想了。相反地，你会看出米勒对于抢眼的颜色有着不同寻常的喜爱。米勒不可思议的绘图技艺和逼真程度堪比照片的绘画能力，或许都与她的自闭症有关。有些科学家推测自闭症儿童的天赋可能与他们的强迫性重复行为有关。毕竟比起其他儿童，他们练习技艺的次数更多，注意力也更集中。
米勒的自闭症也使得她对于过度刺激极度敏感，而这种刺激会触发一种叫“自我刺激行为”的身体反应——例如前后摇晃或是发出嗡嗡声。音量过高的自动点唱机、人群拥挤的餐厅，甚至是烤肉架的刺鼻气味都会使她的焦虑瞬间爆发，并无法抑制地流泪甚至呕吐。面对最糟糕的情况，米勒已经想好了应对方法——戴上一副大大的荧光色耳机。这种建筑工人才会佩戴的笨重耳机能很好地隔绝噪音，一戴上米勒就能从令人发狂的噪音中解放出来，进入到另一个平静安宁的世界。即使是持续时间过长的眼神交流也让米勒无所适从。在整个谈话过程中，她条件反射地揉捏包里的一个恐龙毛绒玩具，这是她放在包里的其中一只“镇静玩具”。 米勒会一直捏着玩具，直到自己能集中注意力才松手。
对于米勒来说，这一点使得大学校园——现在是画廊美术馆这样的地方——成为复杂的社交迷宫。米勒承认，当她的朋友走过并冲她微微一笑时，她并不能完全读懂这种友善的示意。米勒叹气道：“我无法分辨一个友善的表情和一个恶意的表情。”尽管拥有令美国人钦慕的美貌，米勒现在仍是单身。她无法理解男生们在追求她之前所做的各种暗示性表情和动作。
尽管如此，米勒仍然维持着健康向上的社交生活，并加入了不断壮大的自闭症患者组织，成为其中的一名活跃分子。米勒直言支持“神经系统多样化”运动，此运动强调自闭症并非一种需要治疗的病症，而是看待世界的另一种方式，是另一种智慧。对于一些人来说，自闭症只不过是复杂的大脑线路在运行中出现的一个小故障。根据神经系统多样化支持者的推测，一些历史上被认为最成功、最富创造力的人其实都患有自闭症。（比尔·盖茨和阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦多次被传出患有自闭症，但两人都没有对此作出澄清。）因此，面对自闭症患者，我们不应孤立他们，或是把他们当做病人去治疗，而是要给予他们呵护。
“我并没有患上自闭症，我只是比较孤僻的人。同样地，你不会说自己拥有‘女性特征’，你会说自己是个女人。”米勒一边向我解释，一边在收拾她的工作室。这个工作室的前身是她父母的车库，空间足以停放两辆汽车。近几年来，米勒已经不再痴迷于给婴儿绘画。她现在的作品主人公多为体型特大的学步小童。很奇怪地，这些小孩乍一看很成熟，甚至可以说异常吸引人，然而他们又是如此稚嫩和不堪一击。当米勒侧头细细审视自已的一幅画作时，她这样说道：“我想我的确跟他们很像。”