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Host： Well， with the rise of social media， on-line 1）bullying and a growing obsession with technology， parents today face 2）an ever-increasing array of problems previous generations simply didn’t have to deal with. Questions about childrens’ Internet usage， self-harm and how to discuss the 3）prevalence of drugs and alcohol are just some of the concerns parents are submitting to ask in “Expert Week”—that’s being hosted by a website dedicated to parents with teens. One of the experts 4）fielding questions is adolescent psychologist Collette Smart. Good morning to you Collette.
Collette Smart： Good morning.
Host： First of all， can you make us feel better？
Smart： （laughs）
Host： With parents of teens， is it harder being a parent in 2013？
Smart： I’m a parent of a teenager. I’ve got 3 children. But I would say all parents have always worried about their children， except that I think now as parents we’ve got the on-line space to 5）contend with， so we have the world in our 6）lounge rooms 24 hours a day 7 days a week， and that is something previous generations of parents have never had to deal with. So， yes， I think there’s another 7）dimension that’s very different.
Host： Because it is a world that parents can feel very shut out from…
Smart： Yes.
Host： So one， I know one of the questions that you’ve been getting a lot of this week is， “how protective should parents be of their children’s on-line activity， and how can I 8）monitor it？”Smart： Look， I think we need to remember that we have to give our children space to grow and do things that are independent. Yet on one hand parents are quick to just give over everything on line yet are jumping in at the school gate complaining about everything， and moaning about everything else， but they’re not giving their children chores to do. I think we need to remember they don’t need a 40-year-old best friend. They need a parent so they need strict boundaries and structure around on-line behavior. In my practice those are the biggest issues that I’m seeing now. On-line bullying，‘sexting’ when it’s gone wrong 9）inevitably， self-harming sites， all sorts of issues that are just 10）exacerbating teen issues that are already there.
Host： A lot of parents， I know， have said that they want to monitor their children’s on-line behavior， but kids have settings that are privacy settings that they won’t allow their parents onto. What’s the answer there？
Smart： Look， I completely disagree with that. I think why we be okay for the rest of the world， Google， to raise our children but not us？ When children say， ‘We need privacy’， it means we want privacy from our parents， not anything else. And I think as parents we need to remember that our children still need structure and boundaries， so I always advise， know your children’s passwords. Make it open. My children knew， before they became teenagers， when they got Facebook or social media， I would be checking in every now and then. Social media technology， full stop， is not in bedrooms， all our phones and devices are kept in a little table outside our bedroom at night on charge， we have meal-time， bed-time 11）curfews. It’s okay to say “no” on the on-line space. As parents we still have the skill set， we’ve been around the block a few times， we know about social interaction， so on-line space is no different. Host： So best practice is to get in before they’ve got an on-line presence. What happens if the horse has already bolted？ If you’ve got， say a 15-year-old， still very 12）vulnerable…
Smart： Yes.
Host： …and you can see that there’s problems occurring for them online， what can you do then？
Smart： Be honest as a parent. Say this is a new space for me， it’s something that I’ve learned about， I’m learning about all the time， and then don’t be afraid to say ‘no’ and pull back. They need you more than ever. And so you will probably have a fight on your hands for at least 2 weeks， but once they learn that there’s a new structure， a new boundary， they will go with the flow. We know， as parents， we say ‘no’to alcohol under-age， we say ‘no’ to 13）pornography because we know it’s harmful. So reel things back in， and I think that the “Kids are alright” website， which I’m part of the expert 14）panel， there’s so many fantastic experts on there that parents can go to and actually ask questions about a whole lot of different issues.
Host： That is great， I know a lot of parents will be very keen to be able to access all of that. Collette， thank you very much.
Smart： Thank you.
Host： Really appreciate your advice this morning.
Smart： Thank you.
主持人：随着社交媒体、网上恐吓的兴起以及（人们）对科技的日渐依赖，如今父母们面临着一系列日益增长的问题，而这些问题在过去是不需要解决的。有关孩子们对网络的使用、自残以及如何看待毒品和酒精的泛滥，都是家长们所关心的问题。他们把这些问题发送到一个叫“专家周”的栏目，这个栏目是由一个专门针对青少年父母的网站举办的。其中一位解决这些问题的专家是青少年心理学家科莱特·斯马特。早上好，斯马特。
科莱特·斯马特：早上好。
主持人：首先，你能让我们（家长们）好过点吗？
斯马特：（笑）
主持人：在2013年，作为青少年的家长会不会更困难呢？
斯马特：我的孩子是青少年，我有三个孩子。但是我认为所有的家长都会担心他们的孩子，只是现在的家长还要和网络世界作斗争。这个世界一周7天、一天24小时地存在于我们的休息室，这是过去家长们不需要面对的情况。所以，是的，我想这是另外一个非常不同的范畴。
主持人：这是一个家长们总是被拒之门外的世界……
斯马特：对。
主持人：所以我知道这周问得最多的其中一个问题就是：家长对于孩子们网上活动的保护力度应该多大，怎样对其进行监控呢？
斯马特：听着，我认为我们需要记得给孩子们成长的空间，让他们独立地完成事情。然而，家长们一方面很快就对孩子们的网络使用束手无策，跑到学校抱怨、唠叨，一方面却不让孩子们做家务。我想我们必须记住他们不需要一个4 0岁的好朋友。他们需要家长，因此他们的网络活动要有严格的界限和规定。在我的亲身实践中这些都是现在最重要的问题——网上恐吓、难以避免的色情信息、自残网站，这些因素都会加剧已经形成的青少年问题。
主持人：我知道，许多家长都说过想要监控孩子们的网络行为，但是孩子们都有密码，不让家长登陆。这个问题怎么解决呢？
斯马特：听着，我完全不同意（孩子们这样做）。我在想为什么我们会同意让诸如Google这些网络媒体来教育我们的孩子，而不是我们自己。当孩子们说 “我们需要隐私”时，这表明他们需要对家长保留隐私，而没有别的意思。我认为作为家长我们必须记得自己的孩子仍然需要规定和界限。所以我总是建议家长们，务必知道孩子们的密码，让它公开化。我的孩子们在他们成为青少年前，就知道，当他们有脸书或者社交媒体，我都会随时检查。社交媒体工具，不能放在在房间，就这样。在晚上，我们所有的电话和设备都会放在卧室外的小桌子上充电，我们有吃饭时间、睡觉时间的使用禁令。我们对（孩子们的）网络空间可以说“不”。作为父母我们还是有阅历的，我们接触这个社会的时间不短，知道社交是怎么一回事，因此网络空间没有什么不同。
主持人：所以最好的方法就是在孩子们上网之前就参与其中。但是如果已经覆水难收了又该怎么办呢？如果你有一个15岁还很脆弱的孩子……
斯马特：嗯。
主持人：你看到他们的网络行为出现问题，你会怎么做？
斯马特：作为家长要诚实。告诉孩子这对于我来说是新的空间，这是我学过、仍然在不断学习的事物，不要害怕对孩子们说“不”，他们比平时更需要你。所以你可能要面对孩子们两个星期的抗争，但是一旦他们懂得有新的规则，新的界限，他们就会顺从。我们知道，作为家长，我们对未成年喝酒说“不”，对色情小说说“不”——因为我们知道它们有害，所以及时把他们拉回来。“孩子们一切安好”这一网站——我在里面是专家组的一员，里面有许多很棒的专家，家长们可以去那里确切地咨询许多不同的问题。
主持人：这太好了，许多家长一定会很高兴能够咨询这些问题。科莱特，非常感谢你。
斯马特：谢谢。
主持人：真的很感谢你今早的建议。
斯马特：谢谢。
Collette Smart： Good morning.
Host： First of all， can you make us feel better？
Smart： （laughs）
Host： With parents of teens， is it harder being a parent in 2013？
Smart： I’m a parent of a teenager. I’ve got 3 children. But I would say all parents have always worried about their children， except that I think now as parents we’ve got the on-line space to 5）contend with， so we have the world in our 6）lounge rooms 24 hours a day 7 days a week， and that is something previous generations of parents have never had to deal with. So， yes， I think there’s another 7）dimension that’s very different.
Host： Because it is a world that parents can feel very shut out from…
Smart： Yes.
Host： So one， I know one of the questions that you’ve been getting a lot of this week is， “how protective should parents be of their children’s on-line activity， and how can I 8）monitor it？”Smart： Look， I think we need to remember that we have to give our children space to grow and do things that are independent. Yet on one hand parents are quick to just give over everything on line yet are jumping in at the school gate complaining about everything， and moaning about everything else， but they’re not giving their children chores to do. I think we need to remember they don’t need a 40-year-old best friend. They need a parent so they need strict boundaries and structure around on-line behavior. In my practice those are the biggest issues that I’m seeing now. On-line bullying，‘sexting’ when it’s gone wrong 9）inevitably， self-harming sites， all sorts of issues that are just 10）exacerbating teen issues that are already there.
Host： A lot of parents， I know， have said that they want to monitor their children’s on-line behavior， but kids have settings that are privacy settings that they won’t allow their parents onto. What’s the answer there？
Smart： Look， I completely disagree with that. I think why we be okay for the rest of the world， Google， to raise our children but not us？ When children say， ‘We need privacy’， it means we want privacy from our parents， not anything else. And I think as parents we need to remember that our children still need structure and boundaries， so I always advise， know your children’s passwords. Make it open. My children knew， before they became teenagers， when they got Facebook or social media， I would be checking in every now and then. Social media technology， full stop， is not in bedrooms， all our phones and devices are kept in a little table outside our bedroom at night on charge， we have meal-time， bed-time 11）curfews. It’s okay to say “no” on the on-line space. As parents we still have the skill set， we’ve been around the block a few times， we know about social interaction， so on-line space is no different. Host： So best practice is to get in before they’ve got an on-line presence. What happens if the horse has already bolted？ If you’ve got， say a 15-year-old， still very 12）vulnerable…
Smart： Yes.
Host： …and you can see that there’s problems occurring for them online， what can you do then？
Smart： Be honest as a parent. Say this is a new space for me， it’s something that I’ve learned about， I’m learning about all the time， and then don’t be afraid to say ‘no’ and pull back. They need you more than ever. And so you will probably have a fight on your hands for at least 2 weeks， but once they learn that there’s a new structure， a new boundary， they will go with the flow. We know， as parents， we say ‘no’to alcohol under-age， we say ‘no’ to 13）pornography because we know it’s harmful. So reel things back in， and I think that the “Kids are alright” website， which I’m part of the expert 14）panel， there’s so many fantastic experts on there that parents can go to and actually ask questions about a whole lot of different issues.
Host： That is great， I know a lot of parents will be very keen to be able to access all of that. Collette， thank you very much.
Smart： Thank you.
Host： Really appreciate your advice this morning.
Smart： Thank you.
主持人：随着社交媒体、网上恐吓的兴起以及（人们）对科技的日渐依赖，如今父母们面临着一系列日益增长的问题，而这些问题在过去是不需要解决的。有关孩子们对网络的使用、自残以及如何看待毒品和酒精的泛滥，都是家长们所关心的问题。他们把这些问题发送到一个叫“专家周”的栏目，这个栏目是由一个专门针对青少年父母的网站举办的。其中一位解决这些问题的专家是青少年心理学家科莱特·斯马特。早上好，斯马特。
科莱特·斯马特：早上好。
主持人：首先，你能让我们（家长们）好过点吗？
斯马特：（笑）
主持人：在2013年，作为青少年的家长会不会更困难呢？
斯马特：我的孩子是青少年，我有三个孩子。但是我认为所有的家长都会担心他们的孩子，只是现在的家长还要和网络世界作斗争。这个世界一周7天、一天24小时地存在于我们的休息室，这是过去家长们不需要面对的情况。所以，是的，我想这是另外一个非常不同的范畴。
主持人：这是一个家长们总是被拒之门外的世界……
斯马特：对。
主持人：所以我知道这周问得最多的其中一个问题就是：家长对于孩子们网上活动的保护力度应该多大，怎样对其进行监控呢？
斯马特：听着，我认为我们需要记得给孩子们成长的空间，让他们独立地完成事情。然而，家长们一方面很快就对孩子们的网络使用束手无策，跑到学校抱怨、唠叨，一方面却不让孩子们做家务。我想我们必须记住他们不需要一个4 0岁的好朋友。他们需要家长，因此他们的网络活动要有严格的界限和规定。在我的亲身实践中这些都是现在最重要的问题——网上恐吓、难以避免的色情信息、自残网站，这些因素都会加剧已经形成的青少年问题。
主持人：我知道，许多家长都说过想要监控孩子们的网络行为，但是孩子们都有密码，不让家长登陆。这个问题怎么解决呢？
斯马特：听着，我完全不同意（孩子们这样做）。我在想为什么我们会同意让诸如Google这些网络媒体来教育我们的孩子，而不是我们自己。当孩子们说 “我们需要隐私”时，这表明他们需要对家长保留隐私，而没有别的意思。我认为作为家长我们必须记得自己的孩子仍然需要规定和界限。所以我总是建议家长们，务必知道孩子们的密码，让它公开化。我的孩子们在他们成为青少年前，就知道，当他们有脸书或者社交媒体，我都会随时检查。社交媒体工具，不能放在在房间，就这样。在晚上，我们所有的电话和设备都会放在卧室外的小桌子上充电，我们有吃饭时间、睡觉时间的使用禁令。我们对（孩子们的）网络空间可以说“不”。作为父母我们还是有阅历的，我们接触这个社会的时间不短，知道社交是怎么一回事，因此网络空间没有什么不同。
主持人：所以最好的方法就是在孩子们上网之前就参与其中。但是如果已经覆水难收了又该怎么办呢？如果你有一个15岁还很脆弱的孩子……
斯马特：嗯。
主持人：你看到他们的网络行为出现问题，你会怎么做？
斯马特：作为家长要诚实。告诉孩子这对于我来说是新的空间，这是我学过、仍然在不断学习的事物，不要害怕对孩子们说“不”，他们比平时更需要你。所以你可能要面对孩子们两个星期的抗争，但是一旦他们懂得有新的规则，新的界限，他们就会顺从。我们知道，作为家长，我们对未成年喝酒说“不”，对色情小说说“不”——因为我们知道它们有害，所以及时把他们拉回来。“孩子们一切安好”这一网站——我在里面是专家组的一员，里面有许多很棒的专家，家长们可以去那里确切地咨询许多不同的问题。
主持人：这太好了，许多家长一定会很高兴能够咨询这些问题。科莱特，非常感谢你。
斯马特：谢谢。
主持人：真的很感谢你今早的建议。
斯马特：谢谢。