《女间谍》:苏珊大妈神勇无双

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  在我们看过的传统间谍片里,女间谍几乎是完美的:漂亮的脸蛋、前凸后翘的身材、干净利落的身手和运筹帷幄的大脑。这样完美的女间谍和帅气的男间谍站在一起,画面不要太美好。看到《女间谍》的海报时,我心想,乖乖,这胖妞就是所谓的间谍?喜剧片?应该就是拿女主胖胖的身材、蠢萌的行动来开一些不高明的玩笑吧?事实证明,我错了。这真是有史以来最别具一格的女间谍了。裘德·洛和杰森·斯坦森等一众男神都化身绿叶,用来衬托苏珊大妈(不是你认识的那个苏珊大妈)这朵硕大无比的喇叭花。年近四十的苏珊大妈不仅是一个灵活的胖子,还是一个有头脑的胖子,每次任务都完成得超乎预期。而且,大妈的吐槽技能和吵架技能Max,生生把瑞典保镖小哥骂哭什么的简直让人笑cry。
  1、苏珊和法恩是美国中央情报局(CIA)的最佳间谍搭档。作为分析师,苏珊十年来都待在总部的地下室担任内勤工作,协助暗恋多年的搭档法恩执行任务。
  Fine: Tell me where the bomb is? Ten seconds or you’re dead.
  Tihomir: Interesting. You see, when my men and I hid it, I made sure to erase[清除] any witnesses[目击者]. And then I erased the erasers. Which means I’m now the only one who knows...just where that dangerously compact[小巧的] and transportable[可运输的] nuke[核武器] is. So I’d say I have more than ten seconds.
  Fine: Well then, in that case, I’d say you’d better start...(sneezes and shoots) Oh…
  Susan: Oh my god. What...Why did you do that?
  Fine: I didn’t do it on purpose. There’s, like a ton of pollen[花粉] in here.
  Susan: Oh God. Christmas on a cracker. Did you take your medicine?
  Fine: I forgot it on the plane.
  Susan: I told you this morning. I put extra in all your jackets.
  Fine: You did. Great. Thanks.


  Susan: No. You know what. That’s on me because I, I heard you sniffled[抽鼻涕] a while ago and I did nothing with that information. So, it’s…that’s blood on my hands. Really, Fine, okay. You know what, you got three coming in. Get out the back door now, move.
  Fine: Anybody in here?
  Susan: Yeah, we got one coming around the corner now. Your three guests are coming out that door behind you right now. Watch your six.
  Fine: Yahtzee.
  Susan: Oh, zinger[击中要害的话].
  法恩:告诉我核弹在哪儿?十秒内回答,否则你就得死。
  提奥米尔:有意思,你看,当我和手下藏核弹的时候,我在确保杀光所有“目击者”的同时又干掉了“清理者”。这意味着,只有我一个人知道那个危险的移动小型核弹在哪儿。所以,我想说,我有的不仅仅是十秒。
  法恩:那么,既然这样,我建议你最好开始……(打喷嚏时开了枪)噢……
  苏珊:我的天,怎么……你为什么这么做?
  法恩:我不是故意的,这里的花粉似乎也太多了吧。
  苏珊:天哪!这太疯狂了,你吃药了吗?
  法恩:我忘在飞机上了。
  苏珊:我早上告诉过你,我在你所有外套里都放了药。
  法恩:你还真放了。好吧。谢谢。
  苏珊:不,你知道吗?这全怪我。因为我不久前听到你抽鼻涕,却忽视了这个征兆,所以他的死我来负责。真的,法恩,好了。你最好知道有三个人进来了,立刻从后门离开,快走。
  法恩:这里有人吗?
  苏珊:是的,拐角处即将出来一个。现在有三个人正从门后面走出来,注意你身后(六点钟方向)。
  法恩:干得漂亮。
  苏珊:哦,一语中的。
  口语锦囊
  圣诞拉炮/圣诞爆竹(Christmas cracker)是西方庆祝圣诞节时一道不可或缺的风景。圣诞派对和圣诞大餐后,客人一般会拉响圣诞爆竹。圣诞拉炮是由硬纸制成的一个筒,形状如同一个特别大的水果糖。两人一人拉一头,纸筒断开时发出小小的爆炸声,拿到大头的人获得其中的小礼物。Christmas on a cracker在这里表示惊讶之情。   Yahtzee快艇骰子是风靡全球超过40年的经典骰子游戏。与Bingo一样,Yahtzee在这里表示对对方回答的赞赏,加强语气,突显了说话人内心的激动。
  2、法恩接了一项新任务,阻止军火商把一个极度危险的小型核炸弹卖给恐怖分子。法恩深夜潜入美女头目瑞娜的豪宅里,苏珊也通过他的隐形眼镜摄像头了解情况。
  Fine: Any sign of her in the house?
  Susan: Heat sensors[热传感器] aren’t picking anything up. There’s some kind of interference[干扰]. I don’t like this, Fine.
  Fine: I’m up for the challenge. Let’s go in.
  Susan: Shoot注1. There’s something wrong with your camera. Can you switch it out for a new one?
  Fine: Too late. No security. Her father would never have left himself this exposed.
  Susan: Okay. Pull back, Fine. This is too easy.
  Fine: I like things that are easy.
  Susan: Oh my god, Fine. I don’t know how you do things like that.
  Fine: Hey. Who’s the finest of them all?
  Rayna: I don’t know. I’m guessing, you? Drop your weapon.
  Susan: Fine, what’s happening?
  Rayna: Let me guess, whoever is in your ear wants to know what’s happening? He’s about to die. That’s what.
  Fine: An awfully big gun for such a little girl.
  Susan: God. Don’t say stuff like that. Okay. There’s a knife rack[刀架] directly to your right. The way she’s holding the gun, she’s not experienced. If you duck[忽地低下头] and lunge[猛冲]. You get the knife and disarm[解除武装] her.
  Rayna: Did someone just suggest that you grabbed one of those knives?
  Susan: No-no-no...no! Damn it! Fine?
  Rayna: Can they see me right now? Let me adjust the angle a little bit. (shoots Fine)
  Susan: Oh my god.
  Rayna: His name was Bradley Fine. He worked for the CIA. Other top agents[间谍] include...Matthew Wright, Timothy Cress, Rick Ford and Karen Walker.
  Susan: Come on, Fine. Come on.
  Rayna: I know who all your active agents are. So, unless you’d like the body count to grow, I suggest you stay far away from me. Now grab some tissues, because shit’s about to get real sad.
  Fine: No, don’t. No!
  Susan: Oh my god. Fine.
  法恩:有迹象表明她在房间里吗?
  苏珊:热感应没有检测到任何线索,好像受到了某种干扰。我不喜欢这种感觉,法恩。
  法恩:我准备好迎接挑战了,让我们进去看看。
  苏珊:哎呀,你的摄像头有点问题,你能关掉它换个新的吗?
  法恩:来不及了……没有保全,她的父亲绝不会让自己这么毫无防备。
  苏珊:好了,撤退,法恩。这真是太顺利了。
  法恩:我就喜欢干这种顺利的事。
  苏珊:我的天,法恩。真不知道你是怎么做到这样的。
  法恩:嘿,谁是这个世上最厉害的人?
  瑞娜:我不知道,我猜是,你?放下武器。
  苏珊:法恩,怎么了?
  瑞娜:让我猜猜,应该是在你耳朵里说话的人想知道发生了什么事吧?他就快死了,这就是要发生的事。


  法恩:小妹妹你握的这把枪会不会太大了。
  苏珊:天哪,这种时候就别贫嘴了。好了,在你右边正好有一排刀架。从她拿枪的姿势来看,她还不熟练。如果你弯腰冲过去,你就能拿到刀并且制服她。   瑞娜:是不是有人建议你过去拿把刀?
  苏珊:不不不!不!我去!法恩?
  瑞娜:他们还能看到我吗?让我稍微调整一下角度。(开枪射法恩)
  苏珊:哦天哪。
  瑞娜:他叫布拉德利·法恩,就职于中情局,其他高级特工包括马修·瑞特、提莫西·克莱斯、瑞克·福特和凯伦·沃克。
  苏珊:起来,法恩,起来啊。
  瑞娜:我对你们所有的特工都了如指掌。所以,除非你们希望这样的尸体不断增加,否则我建议你们最好远离我。现在最好去拿些纸巾吧,因为这才是真正的悲伤时刻。
  法恩:不,不要,不!
  苏珊:哦天哪,法恩。
  美国中央情报局(CIA)、美国国家安全局(NSA)和美国联邦调查局(FBI)并称美国三大情报机构,这三大情报机构支撑起美国庞大的情报王国。美国中央情报局的主要任务是公开和秘密地收集和分析关于国外政府、公司、恐怖组织、个人、政治、文化、科技等方面的情报,协调其他国内情报机构的活动,并把这些情报报告给美国政府各个部门。美国中央情报局的地位和功能相当于英国的军情六处、前苏联的克格勃和以色列的摩萨德。在美国情报体系中,它是唯一一个独立的情报部门。
  3、由于目标人物知晓全部顶尖间谍的身份,中情局只好派出被称为“隐形人”的分析员苏珊担此重任。为了给法恩报仇,苏珊首次执行特殊任务。
  Captain: Alright, have you any field training since then? Ten years is a long time.
  Susan: No, ma’am.
  Captain: Normally I would send you back to the farm, but there’s no time and I can’t take a chance of anyone leaking[泄露] your name.
  Susan: Am I…am I going?
  Captain: You’re going.
  Susan: Okay.
  Captain: But…
  Susan: Sorry.
  Captain: It’s a track[追踪] and report mission only. We’ll be giving you a new identity. You’ll no longer be Susan Cooper. Your new name...
  Susan: Oh, I had a few,uh, ideas for that. I was just spit-balling and I thought Serafina, Mannix, Gisele...
  Captain: Carol Jenkins.
  Susan: Carol...Jenkins. You know. If I may...ma’am. There was a, a 13-year-old girl named Carol, that used to, kind of, take me around the neighbourhood, and used my braid[辫子] as a dog leash[(牵狗的)皮带], and made me begged for biscuits[饼干], so...
  Captain: Carol Jenkins.
  Susan: Yes, Carol Jenkins! Huh?
  Captain: Carol Jenkins is a single mother of four. Temporarily[临时地] relocated from Delaware to increase sales for a software company.
  Susan: Okay. That is...That is....a different occup...(check out the family picture)
  Captain: There a problem?
  Susan: No! I was just wondering if this is my family, or if I’ve taken hostages[人质]? I’m just not sure, how De Luca is going to take me seriously if I looked like this.
  Captain: De Luca is not going to take you anything. In case you did not hear me, you are not to make direct contact with any of the targets. Track and report. Now we’re setting you up in a surveillance[监视] office across the street from De Luca’s. You’ll be tapped[窃听] into the same telecom trunk, and have access to voice and data coming into his office. And that is as sexy as it gets. One mistake, and we’ve got a nuclear bomb in the hands of terrorists[恐怖分子]. Do you understand?   Susan: Yes.


  苏珊:抱歉。
  队长:任务内容只能是跟踪和报告。我们会给你安排一个新的身份,你不再是苏珊·库伯,你的新名字……
  苏珊:哦,对此我有一点想法,我只是建议,我认为可以叫赛瑞·菲拉,曼尼克斯,吉赛尔……
  队长:卡罗尔·詹金。
  苏珊:卡罗尔……詹金。你知道如果我能……长官,有一个叫卡罗尔的13岁女孩曾经抓着我的辫子就像是遛狗一样绕着我住的小区来回走,还逼我去讨要饼干,所以……
  队长:卡罗尔·詹金。
  苏珊:好,那就卡罗尔·詹金吧。哈?
  队长:卡罗尔·詹金是四个孩子的单亲母亲,临时从特拉华州调过来帮助软件公司提高销售业绩。
  苏珊:好的,这……这……真是个与众不同的职……(查看全家福)
  队长:有问题吗?
  苏珊:没有,我只是好奇,这是我的家人还是我劫持的人质?我只是不确定,如果我打扮成这样,德·卢卡怎么会把我当回事。
  队长:德·卢卡怎么样也不会把你当回事的。也许你还没听明白我的话,你不可以跟任何目标人物当面接触,只能跟踪和报告。现在我们为你布置了一间监视室,就在德·卢卡办公室的街对面,你可以接入他的电话线路,监听其电话并截获所有进入他办公室的数据,做这些也够精彩的了。一个差错,核弹就会落入恐怖分子的手中,你明白了吗?
  苏珊:明白。
  4、苏珊飞到罗马后,用新身份接近瑞娜,试图取得她的信任。然而瑞娜对她始终保持怀疑的态度,在飞机上,瑞娜给苏珊下了迷药。
  Susan: What did you do? Da…Did you drug me?
  Rayna: Of course I did. I told you, I can’t trust anybody. I had to look through your things.
  Susan: Stop texting!
  Rayna: I’m not texting. If you must know, I’m playing
  Candy Crush注2. And I just made level 95.
  Susan: God, that is so rude.
  Rayna: Jesus, Colin! What are you doing?
  Frederick: I’m sorry, Rayna, but there’s been a change of plans.
  Rayna: Who paid you off, Colin?
  Frederick: Colin hasn’t worked here for like eight months. I’m Frederick.
  Rayna: Is that why you’re doing this? Because I didn’t remember your name?
  Frederick: Let’s just say there’re some people who really want what you’re selling.
  Rayna: You don’t have to do this. I can give you a very comfortable life. Col...um…
  Frederick: You forgot my name again, didn’t you?
  Rayna: Nope. No, I didn’t.
  Frederick: Yeah?
  Rayna: It’s...um…
  Frederick: Don’t say Colin.
  Bodyguard: Nice try, Colin. But Stan and I already se...
  Frederick: It’s Frederick! Frederick! Sorry lady, but they only paid me for one...
  (Susan fights with Frederick, and takes out a whistle[口哨])
  Frederick: Blow that thing all you want, lady.
  Susan: Yeah? Well, why don’t you blow me, Colin?
  (blows a poison dard[毒镖])
  Frederick: Argh, it’s...Frederick.


  苏珊:你对我做了什么?你……你给我下药?
  瑞娜:当然。我告诉过你,我不会相信任何人。我必须检查你的东西。
  苏珊:别发短信了!
  瑞娜:我没在发短信。如果你非要知道,我正在玩糖果传奇,而且我刚玩到95关。
  苏珊:天哪,这也太无礼了。
  瑞娜:天哪,科林,你这是干什么?
  弗雷德里克:我很抱歉,瑞娜,但是计划有变。
  瑞娜:是谁雇佣你的,科林?
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