谈到自学,就有愧于心。自学,贵在自觉。而我,起初是迫于母命,后来又苦于亲戚的督促,象小毛驴那样,不抽鞭子是不肯向前跨步的。当了语文教师之后,那可以说是出于无奈,不学一点就会更加捉襟见肘。这真是不足为训。关于自学情况,只有一些可资笑谈的事例至今倒还留在我的记忆深处,回想起来,印象依然鲜明;而别的什么,已如过眼烟云,毫无踪影了。“囫囤吞枣”不可取在家乡一所小学念书的时候,我很不用心。那时,我父亲已经去世,母亲就兼负起严父的责任。每天夜晚,我被迫在煤油灯下读课文,明明有好几个字不识,可还是高声朗读着。幸而我母亲是文盲,可以蒙混过去。这种不求甚解、自欺欺人的办法,久而久之,就积重难返。在进入中学、自学课外书籍时,这种积习会一再抬起头来。 When it comes to self-study, there is nothing to do. Self-study is expensive. And I, at first, was forced by my mother’s death, and then I was suffering from the supervision of my relatives. Like little donkeys, I didn’t whip up and refused to step forward. After becoming a language teacher, it can be said that it is out of frustration. If you do not learn a bit, you will be even more stretched. This is really not enough training. With regard to the situation of self-study, only some laughable examples have remained in my memory so far. In retrospect, the impression is still vivid; “I don’t want to swallow the dates.” It’s not advisable to go to a primary school in my hometown to study. I don’t mind. At that time, my father had passed away and her mother took responsibility for Yan’s father. Every night, I was forced to read the text under the kerosene lamp. Obviously there were a few words I didn’t know, but I still read it loudly. Fortunately my mother is illiterate and can be fooled. This long-term solution to self-deception and self-deprecation will be difficult to return. When entering secondary schools and self-study extra-curricular books, this kind of habit will be raised again and again.