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A
A snail（蜗牛）was climbing up a young cherry (樱桃)tree when a beetle spied (发现)him.
“Say，”said the beetle(甲虫)，“there aren’t any cherries in that tree.”
“I know，”replied the snail,“but there will be by the time I get there.”
B
The absent-minded professor went around in a revolving door（旋转门）for six hours because he couldn’t remember whether he was going in or coming out.
C
If it wasn’t for Thomas Edison and his invention of electric light bulb(电灯泡), we’d all be watching television by candle light(蜡烛).
D
Did you hear about the absent-minded professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours, wondering where he’d seen himself before.
E
The doctor was so absent-minded that on his wedding (婚礼)day，when it came time to put the ring on his wife’s finger, he felt her pulse(脉搏)and asked her to stick(伸出)her tongue out.
F
A small boy in a department store was standing watching the escalator(自动扶梯).
“Something wrong, boy?”inquired a clerk.
“No，”replied the boy, “just waiting for my chewing gum (口香糖)to come back.”
G
Two young men who were joining the Navy(海军)were asked,“Do you know how to swim?”They both looked puzzled(迷惑)，“What’s the matter? Aren’t there enough ships?”
H
A lawyer（律师）sent an overdue(过期未付的)bill(账单) to a client (当事人)with a note that read，“This bill is one year old.”The client returned the bill with a note that read,“Happy birthady!”
I
An absent-minded storekeeper came back from lunch and saw a sign(告示)on his door which read ，“Out to lunch.”So he sat down to wait for himself.
J
“Please, Mister, will you give me two dollars so I can get to see my mother and father?”
“Where are your parents, little boy?”
“At the movie.”
K
Two little boys wanted to ask a favor of (请……帮忙)their mother.
“You ask her,”said Paul, age ten.
“No,”said Roy, age nine,“You ask her, you’ve known her longer than I have.”
L
“You ought to be ashamed（惭愧）,”a father told his lazy son,“When George Washington was at your age, he was a surveyor (检查官)”.
“And when he was at your age,”the boy replied, “he was president of the United States.”
M
Four-year-old Tommy walked into his house one day carrying a worm.
“What，”demanded his mother, “are you doing with that worm?”
“We were playing outside，”replied the boy, “and I thought I’d show him my room.”
N
One day a really skinny (骨瘦如柴的)man was walking along when he met a really fat man. The fat man said，“Looks like you’ve been in a famine(饥荒).”So the skinny man said,“Looks like you caused(引起，造成)it.”
O
Little Tommy just returned from his first day of school.“Tell me son,”asked his mother, “did you learn anything today?”
“A little,”answered Tommy in disgust(厌烦),“but not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow.”
P
I’m having a terrible time in school. According to that last test, my stupidity(愚笨)potential（潜势）is going up again!
A snail（蜗牛）was climbing up a young cherry (樱桃)tree when a beetle spied (发现)him.
“Say，”said the beetle(甲虫)，“there aren’t any cherries in that tree.”
“I know，”replied the snail,“but there will be by the time I get there.”
B
The absent-minded professor went around in a revolving door（旋转门）for six hours because he couldn’t remember whether he was going in or coming out.
C
If it wasn’t for Thomas Edison and his invention of electric light bulb(电灯泡), we’d all be watching television by candle light(蜡烛).
D
Did you hear about the absent-minded professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours, wondering where he’d seen himself before.
E
The doctor was so absent-minded that on his wedding (婚礼)day，when it came time to put the ring on his wife’s finger, he felt her pulse(脉搏)and asked her to stick(伸出)her tongue out.
F
A small boy in a department store was standing watching the escalator(自动扶梯).
“Something wrong, boy?”inquired a clerk.
“No，”replied the boy, “just waiting for my chewing gum (口香糖)to come back.”
G
Two young men who were joining the Navy(海军)were asked,“Do you know how to swim?”They both looked puzzled(迷惑)，“What’s the matter? Aren’t there enough ships?”
H
A lawyer（律师）sent an overdue(过期未付的)bill(账单) to a client (当事人)with a note that read，“This bill is one year old.”The client returned the bill with a note that read,“Happy birthady!”
I
An absent-minded storekeeper came back from lunch and saw a sign(告示)on his door which read ，“Out to lunch.”So he sat down to wait for himself.
J
“Please, Mister, will you give me two dollars so I can get to see my mother and father?”
“Where are your parents, little boy?”
“At the movie.”
K
Two little boys wanted to ask a favor of (请……帮忙)their mother.
“You ask her,”said Paul, age ten.
“No,”said Roy, age nine,“You ask her, you’ve known her longer than I have.”
L
“You ought to be ashamed（惭愧）,”a father told his lazy son,“When George Washington was at your age, he was a surveyor (检查官)”.
“And when he was at your age,”the boy replied, “he was president of the United States.”
M
Four-year-old Tommy walked into his house one day carrying a worm.
“What，”demanded his mother, “are you doing with that worm?”
“We were playing outside，”replied the boy, “and I thought I’d show him my room.”
N
One day a really skinny (骨瘦如柴的)man was walking along when he met a really fat man. The fat man said，“Looks like you’ve been in a famine(饥荒).”So the skinny man said,“Looks like you caused(引起，造成)it.”
O
Little Tommy just returned from his first day of school.“Tell me son,”asked his mother, “did you learn anything today?”
“A little,”answered Tommy in disgust(厌烦),“but not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow.”
P
I’m having a terrible time in school. According to that last test, my stupidity(愚笨)potential（潜势）is going up again!