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Oh, Brother
By Zaheer Cassim
For seven years I was king of the house. Then my younger brother was born. our TV remote, clothing, the bigger bed and who gets the better seat on the couch are just a few things we fought over. and though we’re now both in our 20s, our boyish battles still continue. But through the taunts, bickering and occasional shoe throwing, I’m grateful to have him around.
Still, having another person growing up around you isn’t always fun. There’s a lot of sharing, and being the older brother means that what’s mine can easily become his. My parents expect me to know his whereabouts throughout the day, and if he needs something or is in trouble, I’m the first person he calls. The flip side is that no matter what happens in life, I have a best friend who will always stand by me, even when he knows I am wrong.
In South africa, few families have only one child. If I were to ever meet an only child, I would probably pity that person. Siblings are easy to talk to and, at least in my case, have the same taste in entertainment. There hasn’t been a weekend where my brother and I haven’t managed to find a movie we both enjoy.
Having a brother also eases family responsibilities. during my six-year stint overseas, my brother took over driving my dad around at night or accompanying my mother to supermarket. Now that he’s ready for university, I expect he’ll study abroad. I’ll be home to help out with chores and other errands for my parents.
With an only child, all the emphasis is on that one person. That’s a lot of pressure being the only person your parents can turn to for help. That anxiety can be crippling, even if it comes with good intentions.
Some parents turn their only children into little emperors who are spoiled, unable to meet new people or share. But parents can overcome this. Before my brother was born, I spent lots of time in a shop playing with customers. Through those interactions I learned that I wasn’t the only person that mattered in the room.
Don’t get me wrong: I don’t believe that sibling-less children are doomed to be socially inept. It just requires parents be more active in promoting values like sharing and compromise. I could write a book on the topic, but it’s my brother’s turn to use the computer.
A Lifelong Friend
By Jiang Xiaolin
When my little brother david was born, I was preparing day and night for my college entrance exam. The day my ecstatic parents brought him home, I gave him a brief glance before immersing myself again in Einstein, Seneca and Nietzsche. These thinkers, I believed, would infuse more wisdom and happiness into my life than a12-inch reddish thing that bit its foot. I didn’t realize this little creature would make such a tremendous difference in my life.
The first noticeable change was a dramatic reduction in loneliness. as a teenager, I felt thoroughly misunderstood and mistrusted by my “tyrant” parents and we quarreled badly. during one particularly bad fight I was on the verge of escaping to my room to cry my grievances out. But then a little warm hand rested itself on mine, grasping my thumb. When I looked up, my eyes met david’s, full of sympathy as well as tears. Brought up in the same home and facing similar growing pains, he and I were linked emotionally. With a flash, I felt like I was seeing myself in a smaller body. Words weren’t necessary; though I was still sobbing, almost all my sorrow and anger had melted away. Since then, knowing there’s a person in the world that “weeps as I weep and smiles as I smile” has rid loneliness from my life.
No longer an only child, I became less self-oriented and began to embrace the world. david awakened my awareness. I learned his thoughts in order to understand him, and sensed his feelings so as to comfort him. and naturally I extended this tendency in my relationships with other people. all of sudden, I was living in a more spacious universe where subjects could be viewed from various angles, and problems might be solved in myriad ways.
Despite the advantages of having a brother or sister, some parents worry that children bullying and fighting in an effort to dominate parents’ attention can lead to moodiness and loss of confidence. But being an only child can’t protect against conflicts and competition forever. Siblings are an opportunity to address challenges early in life. We do quarrel when we disagree, but we learn how to argue without hurting the other’s feelings. We fight when we want the same thing, but we also learn to compromise. Not because of weakness, but out of love and care. I’m constantly grateful to have such a companion in my life.
By Zaheer Cassim
For seven years I was king of the house. Then my younger brother was born. our TV remote, clothing, the bigger bed and who gets the better seat on the couch are just a few things we fought over. and though we’re now both in our 20s, our boyish battles still continue. But through the taunts, bickering and occasional shoe throwing, I’m grateful to have him around.
Still, having another person growing up around you isn’t always fun. There’s a lot of sharing, and being the older brother means that what’s mine can easily become his. My parents expect me to know his whereabouts throughout the day, and if he needs something or is in trouble, I’m the first person he calls. The flip side is that no matter what happens in life, I have a best friend who will always stand by me, even when he knows I am wrong.
In South africa, few families have only one child. If I were to ever meet an only child, I would probably pity that person. Siblings are easy to talk to and, at least in my case, have the same taste in entertainment. There hasn’t been a weekend where my brother and I haven’t managed to find a movie we both enjoy.
Having a brother also eases family responsibilities. during my six-year stint overseas, my brother took over driving my dad around at night or accompanying my mother to supermarket. Now that he’s ready for university, I expect he’ll study abroad. I’ll be home to help out with chores and other errands for my parents.
With an only child, all the emphasis is on that one person. That’s a lot of pressure being the only person your parents can turn to for help. That anxiety can be crippling, even if it comes with good intentions.
Some parents turn their only children into little emperors who are spoiled, unable to meet new people or share. But parents can overcome this. Before my brother was born, I spent lots of time in a shop playing with customers. Through those interactions I learned that I wasn’t the only person that mattered in the room.
Don’t get me wrong: I don’t believe that sibling-less children are doomed to be socially inept. It just requires parents be more active in promoting values like sharing and compromise. I could write a book on the topic, but it’s my brother’s turn to use the computer.
A Lifelong Friend
By Jiang Xiaolin
When my little brother david was born, I was preparing day and night for my college entrance exam. The day my ecstatic parents brought him home, I gave him a brief glance before immersing myself again in Einstein, Seneca and Nietzsche. These thinkers, I believed, would infuse more wisdom and happiness into my life than a12-inch reddish thing that bit its foot. I didn’t realize this little creature would make such a tremendous difference in my life.
The first noticeable change was a dramatic reduction in loneliness. as a teenager, I felt thoroughly misunderstood and mistrusted by my “tyrant” parents and we quarreled badly. during one particularly bad fight I was on the verge of escaping to my room to cry my grievances out. But then a little warm hand rested itself on mine, grasping my thumb. When I looked up, my eyes met david’s, full of sympathy as well as tears. Brought up in the same home and facing similar growing pains, he and I were linked emotionally. With a flash, I felt like I was seeing myself in a smaller body. Words weren’t necessary; though I was still sobbing, almost all my sorrow and anger had melted away. Since then, knowing there’s a person in the world that “weeps as I weep and smiles as I smile” has rid loneliness from my life.
No longer an only child, I became less self-oriented and began to embrace the world. david awakened my awareness. I learned his thoughts in order to understand him, and sensed his feelings so as to comfort him. and naturally I extended this tendency in my relationships with other people. all of sudden, I was living in a more spacious universe where subjects could be viewed from various angles, and problems might be solved in myriad ways.
Despite the advantages of having a brother or sister, some parents worry that children bullying and fighting in an effort to dominate parents’ attention can lead to moodiness and loss of confidence. But being an only child can’t protect against conflicts and competition forever. Siblings are an opportunity to address challenges early in life. We do quarrel when we disagree, but we learn how to argue without hurting the other’s feelings. We fight when we want the same thing, but we also learn to compromise. Not because of weakness, but out of love and care. I’m constantly grateful to have such a companion in my life.