苏教版五年级下册“习作6”的要求是:“写自己喜欢或崇拜的人”。五年级学生已经多次写人,于是我决定:放手写作,写出个性;重点讲评,改出亮点。此次批阅后我很惊喜,有几名学生笔下人物一连串的动作描写,使得人物形象非常鲜活。我想这几名学生的亮点完全可以成为更多学生的生长点。于是,诞生了一节“写连贯动作”的微型讲评课。首先,欣赏学生的两个佳作片段,在讨论、碰撞、交流后,学生茅塞顿开,寻找到了人物动作描写的突破口。一、看过程,组合动作赏析片段一:爷爷60岁了,还在学打字。一天,他坐在电脑前,紧盯键盘好一会儿,敲击了 Sujiao version of the fifth grade under the book “practice 6 ” requirement is: “write your favorite or worship people ”. Fifth grade students have been written many times, so I decided: let go of writing, write personality; key comment, make a bright spot. After the review, I was very surprised. There were a series of actions described by a few students, which made the character very vivid. I think the highlights of these students can become more students growing point. Thus, the birth of a section “write coherent action ” micro-comment class. First of all, enjoy the two masterpieces of students, discussing, colliding, communicating, the students flirtatious, looking for the character of the action description of the breakthrough. First, look at the process, portfolio action Appreciation fragment: Grandpa 60 years old, still learning to type. One day, he sat at the computer, staring at the keyboard for a moment, knocking