我小时一直做两难选择:到底住农村还是在城里,外婆是希望我呆在她那里的,她就我妈一个女儿。解放时,慈悲的她选择了放弃,同时也选择了孤独。我外公免去牢狱之苦,离他的花烛之妻到乡下去了。人都散了走了,偌大的房子就她一个人住着,直到去世。我父母农活忙,我的姐姐也略读了些书,就像当时绝大多数农村孩子一样成为生产队劳力了。农活忙,父母姐姐不能去看她。我懂事后一直在心里谴责自己;清明,我常常在她的坟头立着, I had been a dilemma during my hour: in the end I lived in the countryside or in the city, my grandma wanted me to stay with her, and she was my daughter’s daughter. When liberated, compassionate she chose to give up, but also chose loneliness. My grandfather, who was free from jail, went to the countryside from his candle’s wife. People are gone, big house she lived alone, until her death. My parents are busy farming, and my sister skipped some books, just as the vast majority of rural children were at the helm of the production team. Busy farming, parents and sisters can not see her. I know my mind has been condemned in my heart; Ching Ming, I often stand in her grave,