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本文的作者Helen Fisher是研究爱情问题多年的人类学家,她一直试图从生物学的角度来解释人世间各种爱情问题。此篇演讲,Helen Fisher以优美的语言阐述人类大脑对爱情的种种反应,向大家展示爱情美妙而又神秘的一面。
爱如圣水,爱如毒药,但归根到底爱只是人类最原始、最本能的渴望。人类的世界并不缺少真爱,缺的是一点关心,一点理解。
In the jungles of 1)Guatemala, in Tikal, stands a temple. It was built by the grandest Sun King, of the grandest city state, of the grandest civilization of the Americas, the Mayas. His name was Jasaw Chan K’awiil. He stood over six feet tall. He lived into his 80s, and he was buried beneath this 2)monument in 720 AD. And Mayan 3)inscriptions 4)proclaim that he was deeply in love with his wife. So, he built a temple in her honor, facing his. And every spring and autumn, exactly at the 5)equinox, the sun rises behind his temple, and perfectly bathes her temple with his shadow. And as the sun sets behind her temple in the afternoon, it perfectly bathes his temple with her shadow. After 1,300 years, these two lovers still touch and kiss from their tomb.
Around the world people love. They sing for love, they dance for love, they compose poems and stories about love. They pine for love, they live for love, they kill for love, and they die for love. As Walt Whitman once said, he said, “Oh, I would stake all for you.”
But love isn’t always a happy experience. In one study of college students, they asked a lot of questions about love, but the two that stood out to me the most were, “Have you ever been rejected by somebody who you really loved?” And the second question was, “Have you ever dumped somebody who really loved you?” And almost 95% of both men and women said yes to both. Almost nobody gets out of love alive.
Romantic love is one of the most powerful 6)sensations on Earth. So, several years ago, I decided to look into the brain and study this madness. We found activity in a tiny little factory near the base of the brain called the 7)ventral tegmental area. In fact, the same brain region where we found activity becomes active also when you feel the rush of 8)cocaine. But romantic love is much more than a cocaine high—at least you come down from cocaine. Romantic love is an 9)obsession. It possesses you. You lose your sense of self. You can’t stop thinking about another human being.
Wild is love. And the obsession can get worse when you’ve been rejected. That brain system, the reward system for wanting, for 10)motivation, for craving, for focus, becomes more active when you can’t get what you want. In this case, life’s greatest prize: an appropriate mating partner.
So, what have I learned from this experiment that I would like to tell the world? Foremost, I have come to think that romantic love is a drive, a basic mating drive. I’ve also come to believe that romantic love is an 11)addiction: a perfectly wonderful addiction when it’s going well, and a perfectly horrible addiction when it’s going poorly.
I would also like to tell the world that animals love. There’s not an animal on this planet that will 12)copulate with anything that comes along. Too old, too young, too 13)scruffy, too stupid, and they won’t do it. In fact, I think animal attraction can be instant—you can see an elephant instantly go for another elephant. And I think that this is really the origins of what you and I call, “love at first sight.”
Our newest experiment has been 14)hatched by my colleague, Art Aron, putting people who are reporting that they are still in love, in a long-term relationship, into the functional 15)MRI. We’ve put five people in so far, and indeed, we found exactly the same thing. They’re not lying. They basically…The brain areas associated with intense romantic love, still become active, 25 years later.
There are still many questions to be answered and asked about romantic love. The question that I’m working on right this minute, and I’m only going to say it for a second and then end, is why do you fall in love with one person, rather than another? There will always be magic to love, but I think we’re going to end up in the next few years to understand all kinds of brain mechanisms that pull us to one person rather than another.
So, I will close with this: love is in us. It’s deeply embedded in the brain. Our challenge is to understand each other. Thank you.
在危地马拉丛林深处的蒂卡尔,矗立着一座神庙。它由最显贵的太阳王建造,位于最壮丽的城邦,代表着美洲最伟大的古文明——玛雅。这位君王,名曰贾索·肯·卡维尔。他身高六英尺有余,活到了八十多岁,并在公元720年葬于蒂卡尔神庙。按照玛雅碑文的说法,他深爱着他的妻子。因此,他为妻子修建了一座神庙,正对着蒂卡尔神庙,以示怀念。每到春分或秋分,太阳在蒂卡尔神庙后升起,他妻子的神庙便不偏不倚地浸浴在其影子之中。到了下午落日之时,他妻子的神庙的影子也会完全笼罩在蒂卡尔神庙上。直到1300年后的今天,这对恋人依旧通过陵墓互相拥抱、亲吻。
世界各地的人都拥有爱情。人们为爱情歌唱,人们因爱情起舞,人们撰写诗赋和故事来描述爱情。人们渴望爱情,为爱而生,为爱厮杀,甚至为爱而死。沃尔特·惠特曼曾说过:“我愿意为你赌上我的一切!”
但爱情并不总是愉快的经历。在一项针对大学生的调查中,他们提出了很多关于爱情的问题,其中的两个特别让我印象深刻,一个是“你曾经被你真心爱着的人拒绝过吗?”,而另一个则是“你曾经拒绝过真心爱着你的人吗?”对于这两个问题,有95%的人作出了肯定的答复。要活着走出爱情几乎无人可为。
爱情是世上最具影响力的情感。所以几年前,我决定探索大脑,研究这种狂热的情感。我们发现在大脑底部附近有一块活跃的微小的区域——腹侧被盖区。事实上,我们发现在可卡因毒瘾发作时这一区域也会活跃起来。但比起可卡因,爱情让它更加活跃——至少你还能从可卡因中缓过神来。爱情是种痴迷,占据着你。你失去自我意识,不能自主地去想另一个人。
爱情是狂热的。当你被抛弃之后,迷恋会更深。大脑中的奖赏系统与欲求、动机、渴望和专注有关,它在你不能得到你想要的的时候,反而变得更加活跃。倘若如此,生命中最大的奖赏即是:一个适当的相爱对象。
那么,关于这次实验,我又有什么样的体会要与全世界分享呢?最重要的一点是,我明白到爱情是一种驱动力,是人类最基本的寻求配对的驱动力。我同样也相信爱情让人成瘾:爱若甜蜜,人们沉溺其中;爱若苦涩,人们深陷其中,难以自拔。
我还希望告诉大家,动物也会爱。世界上任何一种动物都不会随便寻找活物进行交配。太老的、太年轻的、太脏的或是太蠢笨的,它们都不会选择。事实上,我相信动物间的吸引力是可以即刻产生的——大家能看到,大象有时会突然被另一头大象吸引。我相信这就是我们所说的“一见钟情”的源头。
我们最近的实验由我的同事艾尔特·艾伦操作进行,内容是对长期相处后仍处于相恋中的情侣进行核磁共振测试。至此,我们一共测试了5人,并发现了他们共同的特点。他们都没有撒谎。他们基本上……在他们相恋25年后,他们大脑中与热恋相关的区域仍然保持活跃。
关于爱情还有很多未解开的谜。现在我简短地说一下我正在研究的问题:为什么你会爱上他,而不是别人?爱情总是神秘的,但我想几年之内我们就可以搞清楚大脑是如何让我们找到我们唯一爱的人。
现在,让我以此作结:爱就在我们心中。它深深地扎根在大脑之中。真正的困难,是互相了解。谢谢大家。
栏目翻译:未几
爱如圣水,爱如毒药,但归根到底爱只是人类最原始、最本能的渴望。人类的世界并不缺少真爱,缺的是一点关心,一点理解。
In the jungles of 1)Guatemala, in Tikal, stands a temple. It was built by the grandest Sun King, of the grandest city state, of the grandest civilization of the Americas, the Mayas. His name was Jasaw Chan K’awiil. He stood over six feet tall. He lived into his 80s, and he was buried beneath this 2)monument in 720 AD. And Mayan 3)inscriptions 4)proclaim that he was deeply in love with his wife. So, he built a temple in her honor, facing his. And every spring and autumn, exactly at the 5)equinox, the sun rises behind his temple, and perfectly bathes her temple with his shadow. And as the sun sets behind her temple in the afternoon, it perfectly bathes his temple with her shadow. After 1,300 years, these two lovers still touch and kiss from their tomb.
Around the world people love. They sing for love, they dance for love, they compose poems and stories about love. They pine for love, they live for love, they kill for love, and they die for love. As Walt Whitman once said, he said, “Oh, I would stake all for you.”
But love isn’t always a happy experience. In one study of college students, they asked a lot of questions about love, but the two that stood out to me the most were, “Have you ever been rejected by somebody who you really loved?” And the second question was, “Have you ever dumped somebody who really loved you?” And almost 95% of both men and women said yes to both. Almost nobody gets out of love alive.
Romantic love is one of the most powerful 6)sensations on Earth. So, several years ago, I decided to look into the brain and study this madness. We found activity in a tiny little factory near the base of the brain called the 7)ventral tegmental area. In fact, the same brain region where we found activity becomes active also when you feel the rush of 8)cocaine. But romantic love is much more than a cocaine high—at least you come down from cocaine. Romantic love is an 9)obsession. It possesses you. You lose your sense of self. You can’t stop thinking about another human being.
Wild is love. And the obsession can get worse when you’ve been rejected. That brain system, the reward system for wanting, for 10)motivation, for craving, for focus, becomes more active when you can’t get what you want. In this case, life’s greatest prize: an appropriate mating partner.
So, what have I learned from this experiment that I would like to tell the world? Foremost, I have come to think that romantic love is a drive, a basic mating drive. I’ve also come to believe that romantic love is an 11)addiction: a perfectly wonderful addiction when it’s going well, and a perfectly horrible addiction when it’s going poorly.
I would also like to tell the world that animals love. There’s not an animal on this planet that will 12)copulate with anything that comes along. Too old, too young, too 13)scruffy, too stupid, and they won’t do it. In fact, I think animal attraction can be instant—you can see an elephant instantly go for another elephant. And I think that this is really the origins of what you and I call, “love at first sight.”
Our newest experiment has been 14)hatched by my colleague, Art Aron, putting people who are reporting that they are still in love, in a long-term relationship, into the functional 15)MRI. We’ve put five people in so far, and indeed, we found exactly the same thing. They’re not lying. They basically…The brain areas associated with intense romantic love, still become active, 25 years later.
There are still many questions to be answered and asked about romantic love. The question that I’m working on right this minute, and I’m only going to say it for a second and then end, is why do you fall in love with one person, rather than another? There will always be magic to love, but I think we’re going to end up in the next few years to understand all kinds of brain mechanisms that pull us to one person rather than another.
So, I will close with this: love is in us. It’s deeply embedded in the brain. Our challenge is to understand each other. Thank you.
在危地马拉丛林深处的蒂卡尔,矗立着一座神庙。它由最显贵的太阳王建造,位于最壮丽的城邦,代表着美洲最伟大的古文明——玛雅。这位君王,名曰贾索·肯·卡维尔。他身高六英尺有余,活到了八十多岁,并在公元720年葬于蒂卡尔神庙。按照玛雅碑文的说法,他深爱着他的妻子。因此,他为妻子修建了一座神庙,正对着蒂卡尔神庙,以示怀念。每到春分或秋分,太阳在蒂卡尔神庙后升起,他妻子的神庙便不偏不倚地浸浴在其影子之中。到了下午落日之时,他妻子的神庙的影子也会完全笼罩在蒂卡尔神庙上。直到1300年后的今天,这对恋人依旧通过陵墓互相拥抱、亲吻。
世界各地的人都拥有爱情。人们为爱情歌唱,人们因爱情起舞,人们撰写诗赋和故事来描述爱情。人们渴望爱情,为爱而生,为爱厮杀,甚至为爱而死。沃尔特·惠特曼曾说过:“我愿意为你赌上我的一切!”
但爱情并不总是愉快的经历。在一项针对大学生的调查中,他们提出了很多关于爱情的问题,其中的两个特别让我印象深刻,一个是“你曾经被你真心爱着的人拒绝过吗?”,而另一个则是“你曾经拒绝过真心爱着你的人吗?”对于这两个问题,有95%的人作出了肯定的答复。要活着走出爱情几乎无人可为。
爱情是世上最具影响力的情感。所以几年前,我决定探索大脑,研究这种狂热的情感。我们发现在大脑底部附近有一块活跃的微小的区域——腹侧被盖区。事实上,我们发现在可卡因毒瘾发作时这一区域也会活跃起来。但比起可卡因,爱情让它更加活跃——至少你还能从可卡因中缓过神来。爱情是种痴迷,占据着你。你失去自我意识,不能自主地去想另一个人。
爱情是狂热的。当你被抛弃之后,迷恋会更深。大脑中的奖赏系统与欲求、动机、渴望和专注有关,它在你不能得到你想要的的时候,反而变得更加活跃。倘若如此,生命中最大的奖赏即是:一个适当的相爱对象。
那么,关于这次实验,我又有什么样的体会要与全世界分享呢?最重要的一点是,我明白到爱情是一种驱动力,是人类最基本的寻求配对的驱动力。我同样也相信爱情让人成瘾:爱若甜蜜,人们沉溺其中;爱若苦涩,人们深陷其中,难以自拔。
我还希望告诉大家,动物也会爱。世界上任何一种动物都不会随便寻找活物进行交配。太老的、太年轻的、太脏的或是太蠢笨的,它们都不会选择。事实上,我相信动物间的吸引力是可以即刻产生的——大家能看到,大象有时会突然被另一头大象吸引。我相信这就是我们所说的“一见钟情”的源头。
我们最近的实验由我的同事艾尔特·艾伦操作进行,内容是对长期相处后仍处于相恋中的情侣进行核磁共振测试。至此,我们一共测试了5人,并发现了他们共同的特点。他们都没有撒谎。他们基本上……在他们相恋25年后,他们大脑中与热恋相关的区域仍然保持活跃。
关于爱情还有很多未解开的谜。现在我简短地说一下我正在研究的问题:为什么你会爱上他,而不是别人?爱情总是神秘的,但我想几年之内我们就可以搞清楚大脑是如何让我们找到我们唯一爱的人。
现在,让我以此作结:爱就在我们心中。它深深地扎根在大脑之中。真正的困难,是互相了解。谢谢大家。
栏目翻译:未几